John Kerry, our new Secretary of State, was in Qater (pronounced ‘Cutter’) recently, getting acquainted with one of our few remaining allies, and attempting to sort out the tangled thread of our policy in Syria, where al Qaeda and other Islamic terrorist organizations have been armed by the United States by arms shipments Obama cleverly sent through Qatar, among other states. John Kerry, of course, was never the sharpest creased Armani suit in the Senate, and it is clear Obama wanted a pliable hack to carry his messages, a task Kerry is fully capable of carrying out, so long as someone reminds him where it is he is supposed to go.

Big John Kerry he yells Whoa!

I think I should be in Doha

Which I do believe’s in Qatar

Where my pals once took a flutter

On a horse whose name was Assad

But who ran a race that’s as bad

As the one I ran windsurfing

Where my fastball it was nerfing

So I’m stuck here in the gutter

Just Obama’s hack in Qater