The Middle East is crumbling into anarchy, and now the Sahel is under threat from al Qaeda fighters from Libya. The French are trying to restore order in Mali, but a better bet would be to restore the Ottoman Empire. The Ottoman Turks knew how to handle anarchy.

So Mali, Niger and the rest

Are gone then it would seem the best

That we can do is fold our tents

And shut our ears to the laments

Let’s turn over the whole damn works

To Suleiman and let his Turks

Put in some Ottomans to rule

And turn the place into the jewel

Of the Sahel with marble halls

Of diamond lights and golden walls

From Istanbul to Marrakech

They’ll throw a net with finest mesh

And haul it in and in the catch

They’ll find a fine upstanding batch

Of freedom fighters with AKs

Who only wish Allah to praise

The Turks though fancy empty nets

And in the dark redeem all debts