Beset by the daily ugliness of the Obama administration, with its scandals and incomprehensible incompetence, a pair of Border collie puppies set me straight as to just what was important. Their names were Ajax and Achilles, and they lay quietly in my lap, attentive, eyes bright, brothers, just off the puppy farm.  I told them I feared the NSA was recording my phone calls and reading my emails, and Ajax said they were aware of the angst and trauma besetting people these days. Achilles said the answer to stress is a Border collie pup. He languidly scratched an ear and said, let me tell you about Border collies, and what it means just to own one.

Just to own a Border collie
Makes your life that much more jolly
And to own a pair your joy must know no bounds
And in time when pups are older
And when winter comes on colder
Then it’s time to get some sheep to roam the grounds
For the collie is a worker
Nary one has been a shirker
And we just love bossing all those dumbass sheep
We will work until we drop and
When the sheep go down we’ll stop and
Only then we’ll try to grab a little sleep
Any pup is ten times smarter
Than Al Gore and Jimmy Carter
And what’s more we work for free and wag our tails
Border pups are just so playful
You will find you have a day full
Of the kind of medicine that cures what ails
Like us, Ajax and Achilles
They’ll run wild through fields of lilies
Blessed by God with speed and strength and smarts and grace
They will love you, they will try you
But they always will stand by you
And your greatest joy is when they lick your face