OSLO, July 26 (Reuters) – Scientists are sucking carbon dioxide from the air with giant fans and preparing to release chemicals from a balloon to dim the sun’s rays as part of a climate engineering push to cool the planet.

If you suck all the carbon dioxide out of the air, all plant life will die and so will we, because plants take in carbon dioxide, without which they will die, and release oxygen, without which we will die. Dimming the sun will result in less food for the world, though it might lead to more tanning salons. And the whole purpose of this is to cool a planet that is not warming but is actually now in a cooling period of the perfectly normal warming and cooling cycle that has been going on for hundreds of millions of years. On the other hand, maybe scientific man deserves to die. Let’s leave the planet alone. It knows what it’s doing.

Some guys in Oslo having fun
With an attempt to dim the sun
And suck the carbon from the air
If they succeed they do not care
That life on Earth will surely die
But that’s okay, a man must try
To challenge the impossibles
And if we become fossibles
Again so what, we’ve had our run
So let the Oslo guys have fun