President Obama’s overriding goal is the re-creation of the Ottoman Empire, with the destruction of the United States a by-product of that ambition. What will Obama gain by realizing this ambition? He will gain the place in history he has dreamed of since his birth to his virgin mother as he accepts the Sword of Osman and reigns for life as Caliph Hussein Mehmed 1, the Conqueror of Constantinople and the Bringer of The Light of Islam To The World, with the minor benefit of a hareem of beautiful young boys and the pleasure of turning Michelle into a castrati in the expectation that the royal boys choir will need another soprano.

The Sultan sits upon his golden throne
Surveying all in his all-seeing eye
Adoring choirs sing for him alone
As from his lips from time to time a sigh
For seldom has he time to play the lute
Nor time to write the books once slickly Ayerd
He mourns that his strong loins will bear no fruit
Because his chromosomes were all X paired
He reigned until his death by accident
As Janissaries playful cut him down
His legacy a lovely precedent
His fine castrati voice of much renown