Kesselschlacht is the word the Germans used in WW2 to describe the encirclement of the enemy. It means cauldron, and that’s where an encircled army was, in the cauldron, unable to get out, and forced to surrender. Rahm Emanuel, Obama’s Chief of Staff, and David Orszag, Obama’s head of the Office of Management and Budget, are in the cauldron. Emanuel announced recently that he will retire soon because he wants to go back to Chicago and spend more time with his family, and Orszag announced his pending retirement because, he says, he is getting married and wants to plan for his wedding in September. None of this fools the watchers, the political types who keep track of such things, and understand that the two men were pushed, not onto, but under, the bus. They were, in short, in the cauldron. Things were a bit murky at first, but the situation cleared when Orszag and Emmanuel were seen dancing and singing the Kesselschlacht song, to the tune of We’re In The Money, that old 1930s Depression favorite.
We’re in the cauldron
The boiling cauldron
Our backs are to the river
We’re gonna die
I voted for the bright man
The right man
For me
But now I see the bright man
Was only blowing smoke and mirrors
We’re in the cauldron
The boiling cauldron
And we won’t get out of it
Never, I fear
Their gay frolic was interrupted by Axelrod, who sternly reminded them, to the tune The Good Ship Lollipop,
On the good ship H Barock
It’s a short trip to the chopping block
Where the Ton Tons play
At Macouting on a chocolate bar
With a whimsical smile and a dainty pirouette, Axelrod soft shoed out the door, leaving Orszag and Emanuel confused and humiliated. To their consternation Obama entered, eyes cold and lips thin. He sang,
I’ll be dead when you’re glad, you rascal you
I’ll be dead when you’re sad, you rascal you
In November I’ll be dead
But when all is done and said
You’ll be dead before then, you rascal you
He stormed out, turning out the lights. In the dark, Emanuel and Orszag hugged each other, for they knew the end of the story. They slipped out of the darkened White House, humming softly an old Willie Nelson tune. Turn Out The Lights, The Party’s Over.