The Australian government recently asked the United States government if there were a plan to bribe, buy, hire or otherwise convert Afghan warlords to our side in the fight against Al Qaeda and the Taliban, much as the Sunni sheikhs in Anbar were brought over to our side in Iraq. The question was a reasonable one, since turning your enemies into friends is the first rule of counter-insurgency warfare. When told there was no plan to bribe or hire Afghan warlords since to do so was contrary to our ideals and ethics, the Australians just shook their heads and walked away.

 

 

The Aussies looked a bit askance

When told there was no plan

They asked if there might be by chance

A savvy old Afghan

Who knew the countryside quite well

And who if pressed could say

The price the warlords need to sell

The price we need to pay

To get the locals on our side

To fight the Tal’ban vice

We said we reasoned with their pride

But money is the price

With that the Aussies put the ball

Into the US court

And said that you must make the call

But O is not the sort

Of guy who takes advice and such

From guys who like as not

Are really asking not too much

For the best allies we’ve got