Iman Rauf and his muslim loving and America hating colleagues in the Democratic party are determined to build a muslim victory mosque at Ground Zero over the objections of all right thinking Americans. What we need is a good old American hero, like the masked man Lone Ranger, a radio hero of yesteryear, who, with his great horse Silver and his faithful Indian companion Tonto, took on the bad guys and won, with courage and good old fashioned horse sense. This mosque business could be solved in minutes by Silver alone, so simple is the question: shall we allow the muslims to build a victory mosque honoring Mohammed Atta and his heroic muslim murderers who killed over three thousand innocent American civilians or shall we not allow it.

 

A RADIO PLAY IN ONE ACT    

 

Tonto: They’re going to build a mosque at ground zero, kemosabe.

Lone Ranger, looking askance: Stop calling me that, Tonto. What’s a mosque?

Tonto: A kind of church. And the president got all upset because a man in Florida threatened to burn a Koran.

Lone Ranger, looking puzzled: North Koran or South Koran?

Tonto: And the man in Florida says the Muslims are threatening to kill him for threatening to burn a Koran.

Lone Ranger: Sounds like a job for us, Tonto.  Where’s my horse.

 

Three bars of the William Tell Overture later Tonto and the Lone Ranger arrive in Manhattan

 

Lone Ranger: This dispute can be solved with some good old fashioned horse sense, Tonto. What do you say, Silver? Should a mosque be built at Ground Zero?

Silver: Neigh

Lone Ranger: There you have it, Mayor Bloomberg.

 

Problem solved, and with a hearty “Heigh-Yo Silver!” the Lone Ranger and Tonto ride off into the sunset. Music, fade to black.

 

Mayor Bloomberg, bemused: Who was that mosqued man?