The global warming crowd is holding a conab in Durban, South Africa, in an attempt to resuscitate their dying scam. In a recent visit to Hattusa, the capital of the glorious Hittite Empire, I wandered into the temple of Teshub, the god of the sky, weather and storms, and asked him about this global warming thing. He looked at me askance, and said he would happily make it warmer if he could, since it was cold on the high Anatolian plateau. I asked him about CO2 emissions, and he shrugged and said that was a question for Telepinu. “He’s a down to earth kind of guy for a god, though I suppose he has to be, since he’s the god of farming.”

But as for warming, Teshub said

Some years the ice just thickens

While other times it’s quite reversed

And it’s hot as the dickens

And Telly said the other day

That CO2 is needed

For all his plants and trees and such

And everything that’s seeded

I left the way that I came in

The Hatti gods have spoken

There’s no such thing as climate change

Not even in Hoboken

So gather ye in Durban town

Ye folk of climate changing

Your fraud and scam is sinking fast

While deck chairs you’re arranging

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