The president announced today that there was a new player in the terrorist business, an outfit called the Khorasan, which supposedly posed an imminent threat to the United States and the West. I found a tinfoil hat in the parking lot the other day, and when I put it on I was immediately convince that the first act of terror against the West by the Khorasan was the killing of Joan Rivers. A moment later, after adjusting the volume, it became clear Rivers was put away by someone in the White House. As the rays from the tinfoil hat penetrated ever deeper, I was struck by the significant coincidence that Joan Rivers died while undergoing a routine surgical procedure just a few days after she had stated, in a television interview, that everybody knows that Obama is gay and Michelle is a man. When I took off the tinfoil hat and tossed it my mind cleared and I was convinced that the Khorasan had nothing to do with the tragic death of Joan Rivers. But the White House, on the other hand….

When have we seen a first lady as tender
And loving as an eighteen wheeler fender
A president as lithe and fey and slender
The two of whom cry out who’s the transgender
Who is the tougher of this odd shaped pairing
Where neither seems to suit the clothes they’re wearing
Which of the two has more the manly bearing
Which would you think less likely to be daring
The question then is who ordered the killing
And who then acquiesced although unwilling
Who thought Joan River’s words were worth the stilling
Who answers to that question gets top billing
And so these mysteries both march together
First lady or the prez, the question’s whether
Would Rivers now be lying ‘neath the heather
If she had not said Michelle wore the leather