Six thousand years ago Babylonian astronomers announced there was a large planet named Nibiru lurking unseen behind the sun. Modern astronomers have said there is no such planet, that the motions of the sun are unperturbed by any unseen body. I’m not so sure. The Babylonians were hardly ever wrong in these matters, and Nibiru is simply likely to be their name for Nemesis, and is, indeed, unseen behind the unperturbed and uncaring sun, even now drifting slowly and quietly, entering on its destined and imminent collision course with Earth. I spoke to a Babylonian astronomer recently, and he was not sanguine about our chances of surviving the encounter.

His name was Akidnu, occupation a scribe
He charted the heavens each night
He proudly belonged to the Chaldean tribe
And noted for keenness of sight
Nibiru, he said, is unseen as of yet
In thrall to the Sun god is he
According to classified email I get
He longs to break loose and be free
Clay tablets arrive in my server each noon
Encrypted cuneiform text
Nibiru will crush inner planets quite soon
And after that you will be next
The sky was once filled with the fast moving gods
You’ll notice the purposeful trends
They vanished in time much despite all the odds
And now beyond Saturn it ends
Nibiru has entered the world that we know
Demolishing all in its wake
But mighty god Sun has now caused it to slow
But however much time it may take
Nibiru will surely complete its set task
Destruction of all you hold dear
For destiny does whatever gods ask
And shortly Nibiru will near
And thus be the end of this phase of the world
Nibiru is what you call Time
And Timeness and Space are in tension and curled
For gods are all reason and rhyme