Nursery Rhymes, Volume 1

Mamma always called me sun

That’s why I am a star

I wonder had she called me son

Would I be where I are

Writing verse of little note

Trying for a laugh or two

Hoping that someone will quote

Something that I’ve rhymed for you


We have always been told that nursery rhymes were clever means of avoiding the authorities while lampooning the high and mighty. I don’t know who the three men in the tub were unless they were a trio of limp wristed courtiers too powerful to risk making fun of. Winkin Blinkin and Nod of course were the three phases of sleepy time for good little boys.  Humpty Dumpty was a cannon placed on the walls of the Royalist city of Colchester, England, during the Civil War, and when Cromwell’s men blasted down the wall so came down Humpty Dumpty.  Mary’s garden refers to the quaint habit of Mary Queen of Scots of hanging Protestants during the Religious wars following death of Henry the VIII. There are a couple of claimants to the origin of Old King Cole, but the one I like is that Cole (Coel) was a Celtic king under Roman rule and his daughter gave birth to a man history would later know as Constantine the Great, of whom I have written at length. One day we’ll tell the hair-raising story of Jack and Jill.   



Rub a Dub Dub

Three men in a tub

Sounds pretty freakin’ unsanitary

No matter what their lifestyles were

And there, of course is the rub


Winkin’, Blinkin’ and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe

Where they were captured by Somali pirates

And had to be rescued by Navy Seals

Who thankfully knew what to do


Old King Cole was a merry old soul

And why wouldn’t he be

With a pipe full of hash

And a very large stash

And all the fiddlers he could ever want

Who afterwards would hand him his bowl


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great Fall

Though Spring and Summer were a bust, the Winter banquet circuit was a blast because he got it together for the World Series, was MVP, and won game seven with a salami and afterward said he never shoulda thrown me a fast ball.


Mary Mary quite contrary

How does your garden grow

Well it’s organic she said and that means I get higher prices for my stuff than I would have but other than that business is slow.




Leave a Reply