And God said to Obama, “I will beat your shields into ploughshares and your spears into pruning hooks!” And Obama said, “That’s cool. What’s a ploughshare?” And it came to pass that Obama stripped all the tanks and artillery and choppers and machine guns from the military and equipped them with ploughshares and pruning hooks, and the world was finally at peace, and the lion lay down with the nervous and trembling lamb who found it very difficult to get to sleep.

Vanity of vanities, all is vanity
And madness has replaced the world of sanity
Attacks are met with sadness and urbanity
For who can say just who it is at fault
The language is reduced to self-negation
There is no place or word for indignation
Defend oneself no longer obligation
Emotions kept locked up inside a vault
Where naming names is now out of the question
To speak of evil gives us indigestion
And killers’ names are but a mere suggestion
And kill they will until we call a halt
For freemen cannot idly sit forever
And watch the Muslim and the Chinese sever
The lives and lands of innocents and never
Rise up in wrath and sow their land with salt