Amy Bishop, a biology professor at the University of Alabama, shot and killed three fellow professors and wounded six others because she had been denied tenure. Her actions were more or less immediately excused on the grounds of Intermittent Explosive Disorder, or IED, the symptoms of which include chest tightness, palpitations, sweating and twitching. I had those symptoms recently, but don’t think they’re from Intermittent Explosive Disorder. I think it had more to do with the delivery of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, with cover girl Brooklyn Decker.

 

 

The other day I suffered from

Chest tightness, palpitations

Followed by the twitching sweats

And similar sensations

An IED attack I feared

Would surely be a wrecker

Then realized it only was

Swimsuited Brooklyn Decker