A few days ago, a school lunch inspector took a child’s lunch away and told her the lunch her mom packed for her did not meet Federal guidelines for school lunches and was therefore unacceptable. The unguidelined object in question was a turkey sandwich, and the inspector then gave the child some presumably more wholesome and definitely more guideline acceptable chicken nuggets. This is where we are now, and it is frightening. The government is now your momma.
He said his name was Tony
But he had such shifty eyes
That I thought he was a phony
Till he took away my fries
Saying those things aren’t healthy
And your mom should be ashamed
And he looked into my lunchbox
And took out the things he named
As contrary to the FDA
And Michelle’s wishes as well
Like my momma’s Saltefleske
And a cod dish I can’t spell
My fried apples he could not decide
If they would pass the test
And so he ate them all and said
He thought that would be best
For fried apples had much sugar
And were fried in sizzling fat
Making them much too unhealthy
For a boy and that was that
Then he tossed my turnkey sandwich
Saying turkey too was banned
But it’s not the turkey that I mind
It’s the baloney I can’t stand