Some people know how to make sandwiches and some people don’t. English sandwiches are mostly pedestrian bread with an almost invisible filling. The French make real sandwiches on good, crusty bread, the Germans pile rye bread high with sliced meats, and the Italians make sandwiches to die for. But what about the bread? How do they feel about being sliced down the middle and stuffed with meat and cheese and lettuce and tomato? Does a baguette tremble when picked up by a guy with a knife?
The baguette sobbed softly and said
The Brits don’t know nothing ‘bout bread
‘Cause it sure would be nice
If I had a thick slice
Of good ham on a lettucy bed
Then with onions tomatoes galore
And a slice of prov’lone from the store
We would have such a treat
That would be hard to beat
It’s a hoagie that all would adore
Beside him a guy with hard crust
Laughed til he thought he would bust
I seed it, he’d cry
For his humor was rye
Then he’d say the pastrami’s a must
Or even a pile of corned beef
So good it is beyond belief
With cole slaw on top
Russian dressing for pop
But no, we get nothing but grief
Then the Panini said with a smirk
Each day when I come into work
On the griddle with ham
Honey mustard and Bam!
Asparagus to make the thing perk
We have a good time a good life
You complain but there’s never no strife
It is good living here
Among friends with no fear
Hey look out, there’s a guy with a knife!
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