Obama pardoned a couple of turkeys yesterday, but it turns out they were real turkeys, not part of his Chicago machine nor part of the overpaid, under-educated, under-worked federal bureaucracy. Still, it was a noble gesture, even if the turkeys were blissfully unaware they were being used. But thanksgiving is not about pardoning turkeys, however deserving, but about giving them a couple of whacks and into the ovens.

Turkey soldiers on the farms

Alert for all Thanksgiving harms

Sergeants sounding the alarms

Soldiers scream they got no arms

Turkey turkey gobble gobble

Watch the old man hobble hobble

Through the barnyard with the axe

Giving turkeys forty whacks

The turkeys mill about the pen

Each turkey tom and turkey hen

The turkey sentries loose and lax

They do not see the sharpened axe

Oh dear

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!