A Scottish doctor has called for the establishment of panels to decide who lives and who dies. Of course, he didn’t call it that. The proposal was couched in the familiar lefty terms of compassion with a whiff of economic efficiency thrown in. How will English death panels differ from Obamacare death panels? Well, for one thing, the soothing accent is different.

Efficiency and savings are all that we crave

Which is why we suggest you die now

And of course we will speed you to your waiting grave

With a courteous and courtly bow

Just lie down be comfy and go with a smile

It’s over in just little time

A needle, a drop from this gay colored vial

Just remember you’re not in your prime

And what is more sir please remember that you

Are not working and live on the dole

So needless to say you’re the head of the queue

Putting Exchequer quite in the hole

We really don’t like offing gents of your age

But it’s for your own good don’t you know

The road that you’re taking is now all the rage

Now let’s give them a jolly good show

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