With his poll numbers falling to below freezing, Barack Hussein Obama, the last black president of the United States, laments his fallen state in a late night tearfest with Vice-president Joe Biden.

How sad the polls now are, Joe
Compared to good times past
I didn’t think that this low
Could come about so fast
How well do I recall what
A man I used to be
I nearly had it all but
It simply fled from me
A million cheering Germans
A Nobel Prize for naught
I loved those racist sermons
And knew that I’d been taught
To do what was expected
My handlers were well pleased
For not a man suspected
That my way had been eased
By sycophants and traitors
Who saw I made the top
But now those right wing haters
Have brought it to a stop
No longer do the masses
Huzzah my very name
Devotion quickly passes
And Joe, that’s just a shame