The Entangled Swamp

The entire Washington swamp needs to be drained, Democrat and Republican alike, for they are entangled together in a giant ball of swamp gas. Cut from the same shoddy, they care not a fig for the rest of us except as direct sources of their wealth and privilege. A Chinese team has teleported an entangled photon from Earth to orbit, a distance of about 300 miles, besting the old Earth to Earth entangled photon teleportation by a good 200 miles. So we are progressing in the art of quantum teleportation, and very soon we will not be teleporting photons, but teleporting entangled objects to distant places, and after that teleporting entangled people cannot be far behind. There are difficulties, to be sure, but nobody believed a room full of people could be teleported from the ground to a higher point in space until Mr. Otis invented the elevator. The question is not will it happen, but whom shall we teleport, and to where.

Chuck Schumer is the man’s full name
A man that no one wants to keep
So he’ll be sent, to start the game
Into the Marianas Deep
Republicans oft give us pain
Their welcome here is at an end
A plus it is, a given gain
To pack them up and click on Send
I’d teleport the whole damn House
The Senate I’d put back to sleep
The loathsome lawyers I would douse
With perfume for large cons to keep
As roommates in their homey cells
To whisper sweet things in their ears
Their Gucci shoes the only tells
To show that lawyers too shed tears
To round it out I’d send her too
To a big pig sty in the sky
No names here please but you know who
Will fit right in, and so do I
I’d teleport myself, of course
To younger days, when full of pride
I’d saddle up my great white horse
And as the masked Lone Ranger ride
To drain the swamp of noisome slime
And laugh as scaly critters crawled
As fast as I can write a rhyme
As with the boiling oil I scald