The pointyheads in Brussels have unveiled a scheme for an airtight, carbon free house, which they intend to foist on the public with the demand that all new houses must be built carbon free and all existing houses must be retrofitted to be carbon free, and if not then the builder or the homeowner must pay a hefty tax, the money going to subsidize those who comply with the carbon free rule. Looks to me like a back door cap and trade scheme, but would an airtight house have a back door?

Ah here we are, the agent said, right off this cul-de-sac

A handsome piece of work now don’t you think

It’s called a zero carbon house, and all that it may lack

Is space to store your carbonated drink

Air handling is our specialty in which we take great pride

It moves air in and then it moves air out

But since no CO2’s allowed you’ll have to go outside

To breathe in case a carbon cop’s about

You’ll note construction’s free of wood, and free of nails as well

For wood dates from the carboniferous time

And nails are made of carbon steel and we intend to sell

A house that’s made to last in any clime

The outhouse too includes the best in sanitary means

Please note the handsome rose lined flagstone path

It’s necessary it be placed outdoors behind these screens

For there’s no paper tissue in your bath

The house is built of fired clay, no charcoal in the kiln

The joists, the studs, electric and the heat

And if you’re worried ‘bout the cost for you there is no bill

We’re taxing all your neighbors on the street

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