They say everything starts in California, and if San Francisco is our future, then I long for the past. A recently published photo shows Chief Heather Fong, the first lesbian Chief of Police and Theresa Sparks, a former male, who is president of the San Francisco Police Commission, and CEO of a multimillion-dollar sex toy retailer. Also proudly shown in the photo is Sgt. Stephan Thorne, a former female, the first transgender male SFPD police officer. Their Representative in Congress is the alien lizard Nancy Pelosi.

The cable cars, the Golden Gate
Don’t be surprised to find your date
Is not the one you thought she’d be
When she turns out to be a he
The bathrooms now in City Hall
Contain for each a separate stall
For the lesbians to use
The transgendered get to choose
Nancy boys must use the parks
With fancy toys from Theresa Sparks
The future has a baleful glare
Like basilisks with stony stare
I hate to think the die is cast
And if it is I’ll take the past