A Democratic campaign treasurer named Kinde Durkee has apparently “lost” huge sums of money belonging to a very large number of Democratic politicians. Senator Diane Feinstein has discovered that her campaign war chest that once held 5 million dollars is now empty, and others have lost lesser, but still significant, amounts. The question is whether Ms Durkee stole the money or simply laundered it, and it isn’t lost or stolen at all, but simply placed in a less open file drawer. Think about it. If you receive illegal campaign contributions, from China or Iran for instance, what better way of cleaning it up than call the cops and say it was stolen? You still have the illegal money, but on the other hand, legally, you don’t have it. Pretty neat. A very wealthy friend, who began life as a poor but honest campaign treasurer, explained how the campaign treasurer business works.
You see, he said, you have this stash
That came from who knows where
Just bags and bags of dirty cash
That you just can’t declare
So what you do is turn it to
Somebody such as me
Who will all traces burn for you
For just a placement fee
That way the dough is yours to spend
In any way you please
It’s clean and most pols now depend
On how I do the squeeze
I see, I said, a laundryman
Campaign check s from abroad
And now there is no quandary, man
Explaining how King Saud
Could send a check to Ms Feinstein
To help her keep her seat
And maintain that no drilling line
That keeps the Saudi teat
Just flowing high priced oil to us
While we refuse to drill
I understand there’s little fuss
But all that in the till
Must tempt you just to take a bit
Of all that ready cash
It does, he smiled, his face bright lit
That’s how I got my stash
I’m rich beyond my wildest dreams
And best of all I’m free
For politics is full of schemes
And schemers just like me
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