In 2072, in response to a Freedom Of Disinformation request, White House conversations between President Obama and Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel were released to the public. Offensive language has been sanitized.
My new healthcare plan, Rahm
It’s (expletive deleted) beautiful, Mr. President
Taxes, rationing, price controls, Rahm
Your people (expletive deleted) love you, Mr. President
Was watching Fox News the other day, Rahm
(expletive deleted), Mr. President
And that hot blonde was on
They’re all (expletive deleted) hot, Mr. President
Yes they are, Rahm
And often now I wonder, well
How come it is I got Michelle
But to the biz at hand today
These tea party folks won’t go away
(expletive deleted), Mr. President
On top of that my health care plan
The public loves, but if they can
Republicans will kill it dead
And put their own plan up instead
(expletive deleted), Mr. President
And climate change is on the ropes
Just dashing all our fondest hopes
That cap and trade will trash the USA
I talked last night to Karl Marx
And what he said just struck some sparks
We’ll fight them, Rahm, and truly make them pay
The way it looks it’s less than firm
That I will have a second term
(expletive deleted), Mr. President
So ‘twere it done it must be quickly done
Just get our troops to fall in line
And after that we’ll be just fine
Just stomp ‘em, Rahm, and show them just who won
I fear we have no time to waste
We need a crisis and in haste
A big one, Rahm, so big I can declare
That next election be delayed
And once that happens mark it paid
That I’ll be sitting here and you’ll be there
We’ll hit ‘em high, we’ll hit ‘em low
Yes martial law’s the way to go
And then we’ll be in power for all time
Republicans will slink away
And cry and weep and sob and pray
And scream that what we did was such a crime
(expletive deleted), Mr. President
I’m glad we had this little talk
It’s always good to make them squawk
I value your wise words and sound advice
We’ll win this thing, just you and me
And then Republicans will see
That crossing me they’ll weep and pay the price
Just squeeze them, Rahm, and squeeze them hard
Just squeeze those suckers into lard
And squeeze those mothers at Fox News as well
And that reminds me, my old pal
That Megyn Kelly’s on right now
I’ll watch a bit then go home to Michelle