Homeland Insecurity

A Nigerian Muslim boarded a Northwest jet in Amsterdam with explosives in his underwear, evading the airport screeners, and managed to set the bomb off as the plane approached Detroit. The bomb fizzled, causing only a small fire, and a Dutch passenger jumped on the terrorist and held him till other passengers subdued him. When asked about the incident, Janet Napolitano, head of Homeland Security, smiled and said the system worked. Shortly thereafter it was revealed the FBI and CIA had known about the terrorist for years, his own father had warned the American Embassy in Nigeria about him, and the man was on an airport watch list, along with 500,000 other names. Despite all this comforting security the man was allowed to board an airplane with a bomb strapped to his crotch. To Janet Napolitano and the Department of Homeland Security, the fact that the bomb fizzled and the plane and all its passengers were not destroyed is proof that the security system worked.



Our Janet thinks a fizzled bomb

Is triumph for our side

She treats the thing with calm aplomb

Detractors are decried

Five hundred thousand on the list

And not a one is checked

She says so there’s one we have missed

That surely can’t affect

The way we handle terror threats

We do so with dispatch

We always try to hedge our bets

In looking for a match

If she’s the anti-terror czar

Then you would think she would

At least not let them in the car

That much be understood

She thinks that we are all so dumb

To think men mean us harm

And thinks the magic aura from

The O will be the charm

To turn this world to happy days

By making real amends

That steers them from their terror ways

And make them lasting friends



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