My Neander Valley Friend

I am convinced a friend of many years has Neanderthal genes in his ancestral tree house, principally because of the physical resemblance to the drawings of Neanderthal man one sees in the popular press. I asked him why his ancestors disappeared, and he said they didn’t actually disappear, they were just hiding from white people who wandered into their valley. He said the newcomers were puny little things and easily defeated, but the Neander people took pity on them and besides their blond women were pretty cute. Ultimately, he said, the Neander valley became crowded and when the climate changed they decided to leave just to get out of the rain.

And so, I said, ‘twas climate change
That did Neander in
It wasn’t genocide or killing fields
It wasn’t arrows of long range
That pierced Neander skin
Or nuclear devices of great yields
He said it wasn’t none of that
It rained for days and days
The water rose to ankle height and then
The womenfolk all caused a spat
And said the rain and haze
Was keeping them inside their leaking den
In consequence they all packed up
And headed for the south
For drier climes and better lives for all
Each family took a wolf dog pup
And reached the river mouth
And that is when they ran into the squall
You see they reached the southern coast
Big water lay ahead
They called it Mare Imbrium or such
It’s while they’re crossing they were toast
I fear were many dead
And scattered by the storm they all lost touch
But by and by they all found land
Alone they were, off course
Each family on its own in some strange place
But all resolved to make a stand
Some saw first time a horse
And thus rode down the dangers they would face
While others driven far and wide
Encountered hostile foes
Most found their new homes pleasant, warm and dry
And in the fights they picked the side
That won and so with those
Created cities that soared to the sky
And so Neanders conquered all
The lands both East and West
And North and South we ruled at our desire
We planted crops and in the Fall

The land was surely blest
In Winter’s cold we rested by the fire
Atlantis rose up from the sea
So fair, a wondrous place
Neander spread his genes upon the wind
All have our genes, from A to Z
We live in every race
And up till now ‘tis never that we’ve sinned
And so you see, my old dear friend
We’ve never disappeared
The valley of our birth our birthright still
We shall be with you till the end
Clean shaven or with beard
We’re here to stay, beside you, always will

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