It has been revealed that 70% of the millions of Obama’s Facebook and Twitter friends are fake. It seems there is a cottage industry that collects fake friends and sells them to people like Obama who can then claim they have enormous social network followings. Things are often dull here in the nursing home, except when my pleasingly plump sitter spends the evening with me. Engaged in idle conversation,

I said to my sitter

I hear you’re on Twitter

She said yes and I come quite cheap

I’m on Facebook as well

It’s my name that I sell

And that’s how that I earn my keep

Now here’s how it works

There’s money and perks

For we who are willing to say

That we all follow you

And we read your stuff too

And do so at least twice a day

Now Obama can claim

That my very own name

Is on his big followers list

Now I don’t want to gloat

But when I go to vote

Obama will never be missed