On Bended Knee

President Obama’s speech today in Cairo will focus upon three things: Obama’s Muslim upbringing; America’s historical enmity toward Islam; and the Jews. I cannot predict he will be able to hold himself in check and not again bow before an Arab king, but I can confidently predict he will blame the United States for all the troubles of the world, and ask forgiveness. In fact, these are not predictions, but certainties, for I have come into possession, I shall not say how, of an advance copy of President Obama’s speech. Curiously, it rhymes.



O land of Ra! O land of ancient stones!

We come to beg forgiveness for our sins

We hope our being here somewhat atones

For all we’ve done to loose the awful djinns

That’ve harmed you and your children all your life

Like medicine and science and our cash

Those awful things that lead to constant strife

And turn the flame of life to cindered ash

We beg of you to please not turn away

We need your guidance and your counsel now

On bended knee I plead with you this day

To teach us Allah’s way and your know how

For only when we’ve turned our faith to yours

Will God’s work here on Earth be truly won

And highest form of art are pyramid tours

And all bow down to Ra the god of sun

O land of Ra! The pharaohs’ gracious land!

Thy glories down the ages ring in ears

Together we must travel hand in hand

To spread Islamic kindness through the years

I’ve come today to ask you pretty please

To think not ill of us here by your side

I’m sure my words have put you at your ease

By saying West Bank Jews we can’t abide

The land of Palestine is truly yours

The Jews so long ago had moved away

They’re back and must be put down on all fours

The entity sha’nt live another day

There’s work to do before we say goodbyes

Israeli force and terror must be o’er

Hamas and Hezbollah are just good guys

Who want their place on earth however poor

Hold hands with us the people of the West

And help us understand the Muslim mind

Your truthfulness and kindness are the best

In Islam you will find no other kind

In parting I will leave you with one thought

You have a friend in DC and it’s me

You’ve heard I’m sure the US can be bought

But save your dough, I’m giving it for free



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