Tag Archives: iranian punch

The Punch

The president of Iran recently promised a “Punch” to the West on the occasion of the anniversary of the Iranian Revolution, and we now know what that punch was. Iran announced they had reached 20% uranium enrichment, the stepping stone to 80% enrichment and a workable bomb. But it could have been worse, as the original “Punch” draft has come into the hands of Verse-afire, and the severity of the punch was toned down by cooler heads. The original draft “Punch” is reproduced here.



As Allah’s mighty host assembles

We see how infidel host trembles

Before our mighty Allah and his wrath

We beg relent ye unbeliever

Give up your god the great deceiver

And follow us down Allah’s golden path

For if you don’t we shall deliver

A blow to make your foul hearts shiver

A blow that shakes your brave mustachios

A punch that rips your world asunder

For if you don’t retrieve your blunder

We’ll raise the price of our pistachios



The 20% Solution

Iran announced that they were now a nuclear state, having successfully enriched uranium to 20%, the hardest part of the uranium enrichment process, with the enrichment to weapons grade 80% a walk in the park. You will recall that in 1945 the United States exploded two uranium bombs over Japan, one of which, Little Boy, was an 80% enriched uranium bomb (U-235, the other, Fat Man, being a plutonium U-239 bomb). The Middle East game is now afoot, and the question is whether Israel will strike before or after being hit.



The game’s afoot, cried Sherlock Holmes

Percentage they’re at twenty

Dear Watson now you will recall

When seven percent was plenty

I wager Moriarty is

Behind this foul adventure

What once was thought a toothless land

Has now a nuclear denture

Calm down old fellow, Watson sighed

LeStrade is on the caper

According to this morning’s Times

And every other paper

Ah, Mrs. Hudson, come right in

Our lunch, we thank you madam

Now Holmes we mustn’t rush right in

And think they have the atom

Quite right, old fellow, this I know

They haven’t reached conduction

Whereby the atoms transfer heat

A crude but sage deduction

But one day Holmes, they’ll have the bomb

And then what will we do

First lunch, old boy, is that the door

Ah, Bibi, right on cue



Drunks, Fools, And The United States Of America

When the Iranians announced that on the anniversary of the Iranian revolution they would “Punch the world”, there was much speculation as to just what form the punch would take. Announce they had the bomb? A surprise nuclear attack on Israel? An attack on the US Navy in the Persian Gulf? An increase in the price of pistachios? No one knew. We now know the “Punch” was the announcement that they had enriched their uranium to 20%, a critical step, for the next step to 80% enrichment is a walk in the park compared to getting to the first 20%, and 80% is what they need to build a Hiroshima type bomb. I for one was unafraid, and remain so, for it has been truly said that God looks after drunks, fools and the United States of America.



‘Tis said that God looks after fools

And the United States

I surely hope He does and that we’re

Not left to the Fates

The danger to this country now

Comes swift on marching feet

Cronyism, soaring debt

The Middle East drum beat

The war to come, the slow sad smile

The teleprompter speech

That promises to meet them at

Each landing field and beach

Incompetence at every hand

Vile treason some would say

Mirandize terrorists who try

To kill us Christmas day

The radicals have shown their hand

The cult of Che and Mao

Are pushing their agenda hard

They have the votes for now

But come November they will find

That two can play at Fates

For God looks after drunks and fools

And the United States