Tag Archives: teachers unions

Slow Learners

An international test of schoolkids showed Asian kids outperforming American kids by a country kilometer, but American educators are not impressed. “Our kids are first class in socializing and dancing,” they say smugly. “Not one of those Asian kids ever even heard of Lady GaGa.” When it was suggested the current economic climate was hurting the schools, the Educator said, “We’re combining many of our activities to cut costs. For example, many schools are now holding Driver Ed and Sex Ed classes in the same car.”



Who cares our kids can’t read or write

Who cares if math won’t come out right

What matters is we do not slight

Slow learners

So what if our schools do not teach

That excellence is in your reach

We must move more at pace of each

Slow learner

Yes other kids are good at math

But we’ve not driven down that path

And we produce what few doth hath

Slow learners

The world at large is passing by

Their kids succeed because they try

Our kids don’t study and that’s why

Slow learners

The teachers unions do deplore

And say that all’d be well if more

Tax money went into their store

Slow learners

The president says money spent

On teachers will correct the bent

That has occurred with good intent

Slow learners

But things are not as bad as seem

There are good kids who dream the dream

The test results show not the cream

Slow learners

Are Philly schools good as Shanghai

No they are not and we know why

That’s why on them we can’t rely

Slow learners

But if you tested just the best

You’d find that our kids pass the test

There’s always been the top, the rest

Slow learners



Academic Freedom

The argument over school vouchers has diminished somewhat over the past few years, the teachers unions having successfully fought off the rights of parents and children to acquire an education, but it will never entirely die. Parents understand that the teachers unions have not the interests of the children at heart, but the interests of the unions. The unions, of course, piously proclaim that their only concern is that the children receive their education from dedicated, devoted teachers, and not from some non-union scab.   



You can’t have parents telling us

How we should teach their kids

The next thing they will want is for

Construction out for bids

We of the unions know what’s best

For Johnny and for Jane

We do this job quite out of love

We never look for gain

We dote on cherubs’ little smiles

Our love fills swimming pools

But parents must have not a say

In how we run our schools

Our teachers rarely pass a test

Before they teach a class

And any parent who objects

Well they can kiss my …



Teacher Teacher

The Belmont Club has an interesting post on the failure of teachers to actually teach and the failure of students to actually learn. Teachers unions will not permit the firing of bad teachers, and the standard tests mandated by the No Child Left Behind Act induces teachers and administrators at failing schools to fake the test data to make it appear they are in compliance. It would be nice if we could start over with eager little kids and non-union schoolmarms. Maybe then we could cut down on the number of high school graduates who can neither read nor write nor do simple arithmetic. 



I brought an apple every day

I tried so hard in every way

I read my lessons, learned them well

I evin treid to lern to spel

Arithmetic I couldn’t get

That’s why my mommy got upset

And history I always failed

Who cares when that Columbus sailed

My teacher gave us all a test

I failed it just like all the rest

But teacher gave us a good grade

No matter what we really made

I graduated top of class

Though not a subject did I pass

I think my childhood they did rob

Because I cannot get a job