Frank Sinatra once sang Come Fly With Me, but that was before there was a National Security Administration. The TSA, under the direction of Big Sis Janet Napolitano, is determined to pursue a course of greatest embarrassment and inconvenience to the American traveling public instead of doing what any sensible person would do. Sensible people would try to find out WHO was getting on the plane, but Big Sis is determined to find out WHAT is getting on the plane. We have to take off our shoes because a terrorist had explosives in his shoes. The Word Trade Centers were brought down by guys armed with boxcutters, so we cannot take scissors on planes. The underwear bomber failed to explode his bomb and so we know he had a bomb in his underwear, and this means we have to have strangers grope around inside our underwear. Do they change gloves for each pat down? They do not. The gloves are for their protection, not ours. Sensible people, like the Israelis, look for terrorists; Big Sis looks for containers of mother’s milk. We scrutinize every tenth person in line, no matter if that tenth person is an 85 year old grandmother from Des Moines, or a crippled child. Bearded young Arab males go unchallenged, because that would be profiling, and we can’t have that. If you are hunting a man-eating tiger it is no use believing rabbits are possible tigers.   

 

 

A bearded man dressed as a nun

Approached TSA screeners

What’s in the jug one screener asked

“Why lunch, it’s just boiled wieners”

Well she’s okay, another said

Don’t bother with the cork

She’s not an Arab that is plain

For Arabs don’t eat pork

At full pat down the screener cried

What’s this inside your pants?

“Why that is just a crucifix”

She smiled with winsome glance

And so he boarded for his trip

To Allah’s paradise

A jug of naptha and a match

Lit up the nighttime skies

Meantime a little crippled child

Was ordered off to jail

For hindering the screeners work

When she began to wail

And so it went and so it goes

Our government plays hob

With peoples’ lives but all is well

Big Sis is on the job