The Cyprus Solution

Cyprus is in a tight spot. The EU has demanded a cut of all bank account savings before it will commit to the latest bailout, and citizens are upset that their savings will be taken from them. I spoke to a Cypriot friend just today and he was outraged, demanding the United States do something.  “I love Obama,” he sobbed, “and I go to the airport every day looking for Air Force One.” I asked him what the United States could do, and he said


You have money stuffed in closets

Trillions more in safe deposits

You could easy save dear Cyprus from this fuss

Write a check or just a promise

See I’m not a Doubting Thomas

I believe Obama cares for folks like us

Phones are free and so is healthcare

And your banks are all on wealthfare

They could spare a dime or two to help our cause

Have Obama make us voters

And we’ll be Obama doters

And we’ll pull that lever often without pause

See we follow your elections

And we see you make selections

Based upon how much is promised to the proles

Please don’t think that we’ve intruded

We just want to be included

Have Obama put us on your voter rolls