The Fat Man In Red

Around 5 or 6 BC some wise men saw a strange sight in the northern sky, and followed it. What did they see? Was it a supernova? A comet? No one knows. But it must have been very, very unusual, for these wise men were astronomers, used to charting the heavens. I submit what they saw was a curious, wheeless conveyance, pulled by animals that bore little resemblance to horses. And in that wheeless conveyance they beheld a fat man in curious red garb. When they calculated the trajectory they determined it had come from the North Pole, and its parabola indicated a landing near the little town of Bethlehem. But what was the strange looking man carrying in that strange conveyance?

They found the sleigh empty
By a manger it stood
In front of a window
And a door made of wood
And peering inside
The wise men then saw
A sight that caused trembling
And quaking with awe
For there by a baby
Sat a fat man in red
And a saintly young woman
Kissing her baby’s head
Surrounding the tableau
Shone light soft and low
That lighted the window
With a soft golden glow
As the Magi stood awestruck
They heard voices sing
From inside the manger
They heard the word “King”
The baby then smiled
And the fat man did grin
And legions of angels
Filled the spaces within
The door of the manger
Then swung open wide
And the fat man in red
Stepped quickly outside
“Good night, little fella
A night this has been”
He hopped to the sleigh
And when he was in
He turned to the Magi
And bade them to stay
Saying, “Know who that is?
Do you know what’s today?”
With that he was off
His night rounds to make
While inside the manger
The infant did wake
The Magi then entered
With incense and gold
And knelt by the babe and said
“Hail the foretold
For thine is the kingdom
Thy Father says so”
And from off in the distance
Came a clear “Ho Ho Ho”

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