The Mikado

A liberal writer from Think Progress, a man named Arnobio Morelix, published an article in the Huffington Post in which he calculated that McDonalds could double the pay of each of its employees, including management, at the paltry sum of sixty-eight cents additional cost per hamburger. The calculation was soon exposed as absurd, but that doesn’t stop the Left from throwing this stuff out in the expectation that some will stick, at least with the Democrat base of low information and lower intelligence voters. I think if they want to appeal to a different sort of voter, they might do something a bit cultural, a re-write of Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Mikado for instance;


Three little maids from school are we
Pert as a school-girl well can be
Each with a burger on her knee
Three little maids from school

Three little maids who, all unwary
See that McDonald’s does not vary
Full of that transfat, how so scary
Three little maids from school

NANKI-POO, played by Arnobio Morelix, then sings:

A wandering minstrel I, a thing of shreds and patches
Of ballads, songs and snatches, of dreamy, creamy fries
My server’s underpaid, he should be making double
It won’t be any trouble, a mease-illy sixty eight cents
My passion it is raging, and Congress I am paging
To change this crime and hang the damn expense!

At this point KO-KO, The Lord High Executioner, enters stage left and sings:

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I’ve got a little list, I’ve got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed, who never would be missed!
There’s the pestilential nuisances who write for lefty rags
All people who have flabby minds and lefty women nags
Researchers who think money grows on trees and picked like leaves
And bleeding heart sick liberals who show you their red sleeves
And all who think that all of us should do as they insist
They never will be missed, there’d none of them be missed

An ornate chopping block is wheeled onstage, and as the curtain falls, the entire staff of the Huffington Post is led single file to the chopping block, where the Lord High Executioner sings, in a melancholy baritone,

No, they never will be missed!

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