My name was placed in nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize, and we all know how that turned out. Barack Obama joined the illustrious crew of previous peace prize winners, like Yasser Arafat (for killing Israelis) and Al Gore (for attempting to kill the American economy through his global warming scam). Not that I begrudge the president of the United States another prize, even if he did nothing to earn it. Neither did I, of course, which is entirely the point. The Nobel Peace Prize committee gave me a very brief interview, patted my head and sent me on my way, shaking their heads at my naiveté in thinking I could win the prize without accomplishment.

 

 

I thought I’d win the Nobel prize

For harmony and peace

But failed in the committee’s eyes

And told that I must cease

My love for good old USA

And admiration for

The difficult and wondrous way

She keeps the world from war

By being the world’s nine one one

And giving money to

Just every land under the sun

No matter what they do

I said no other land on earth

Hath greater mercy shown

To people trodden down from birth

Nor greater freedom sown

Committee members laughed and sneered

Said I was so naïve

That patriots had disappeared

Without a by your leave

They said the world was different now

Surrender is the thing

And they would show us Yankees how

To bow ‘fore Saudi king

And tug the forelock in respect

For Islam’s better ways

They said and that’s why we expect

To see much better days

Now that The One will clean the slate

And lead us to the shore

Of serfdom and the dhimmi state

That’s what this prize is for