You’re Not A Loan

The student loan debt crisis threatens to be bigger than the mortgage crisis that brought on the recession in 2008. College students find themselves with degrees the colleges sold them at enormous cost which are worth nothing in the marketplace, and the poor wretch who took out student loans totaling a couple hundred thousand dollars now finds her degree in Witchcraft and Wymyns Studies of little commercial value. But there’s more than one way to skin a witch’s cat, and more than one way to pay off a student loan. It all depends on your major.



Two hundred thousand down the drain

She wept with bitter tears

Degrees I’ve bought with constant pain

A wasted four whole years

They told me a degree was such

That everyone must earn

I didn’t know ‘twould cost this much

Will suckers never learn

My Wymyns Studies class was great

I’ve honors in Witchcraft

I felt that this was tempting fate

But my professors laughed

They said I’d studied much too hard

So many hours spent

On pentagram and Tarot card

That’s where the money went

And now the bank is asking for

The money that I owe

And now the imps I’m tasking for

The final, vital blow

The imps, crazed female to the bone

And witches blood red gowned

Have set alight the bank and loan

And burned them to the ground



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