Category Archives: Verse

NASA, The Feel Good Space Agency

President Obama proclaimed that NASA, the space agency that put the first man on the moon, would henceforth have nothing to do with space or science, and instead devote its time and considerable budget to making Muslims feel good about themselves, and about their supposed contributions to science some thousand years ago. This move is not surprising, for Obama had previously credited Muslims with the invention of the compass, printing, algebra, and the university, none of which is true. Europeans invented the university, the Chinese invented printing and the magnetic compass, and the Hindus of northern India invented algebra and the system of mathematics we use today, including the so-called Arabic numbers. Why do we call them Arabic numbers? Because when the Arabs conquered northern India they brought the mathematical systems invented by the Hindus back home with them. So I guess that’s something. They at least recognized the Hindu math was better than what they were using. What other wonders did this marvelous civilization invent? Why, according to the American left, just about everything.

 

Wilbur and Orville, two Bedouin chaps

Believed that if Allah so willed

They could make a machine that would fly them, perhaps

Though they knew there’s a chance they’d be killed

No matter the risk, no matter the peril

For Allah they’d do what it took

They flew a straight line, they flew in a curl

Then told all the world in a book

In Cairo a smart man, al-Bert was his name

Said gravity bends passing light

Then took off for Princeton and cashed in his fame

When Allah proved that he was right

A young man named Henry, while dining as planned

In the town of as-Sembly on kine

Threw a bone to a dog, drawing marks in the sand

And created the as-Sembly line

And thus so it went, and thus so it goes

That Muslims created it all

From fire to atoms, from heads to our toes

We owe it to them to recall

That without the great Arab advances to date

The world would indeed be so poor

That we’d witness the famine and terrible state

Of the masses lay crushed at our door

All hail to the Arabs, those masters of art

And science and math and the lot

Who sit in the sand by their fire and fart

Eating goat from the communal pot

 

 

Kesselschlacht

Kesselschlacht is the word the Germans used in WW2 to describe the encirclement of the enemy. It means cauldron, and that’s where an encircled army was, in the cauldron, unable to get out, and forced to surrender. Rahm Emanuel, Obama’s Chief of Staff, and David Orszag, Obama’s head of the Office of Management and Budget, are in the cauldron. Emanuel announced recently that he will retire soon because he wants to go back to Chicago and spend more time with his family, and Orszag announced his pending retirement because, he says, he is getting married and wants to plan for his wedding in September. None of this fools the watchers, the political types who keep track of such things, and understand that the two men were pushed, not onto, but under, the bus. They were, in short, in the cauldron. Things were a bit murky at first, but the situation cleared when Orszag and  Emmanuel were seen dancing and singing the Kesselschlacht song, to the tune of We’re In The Money, that old 1930s Depression favorite.

 

We’re in the cauldron

The boiling cauldron

Our backs are to the river

We’re gonna die

I voted for the bright man

The right man

For me

But now I see the bright man

Was only blowing smoke and mirrors

We’re in the cauldron

The boiling cauldron

And we won’t get out of it

Never, I fear

 

Their gay frolic was interrupted by Axelrod, who sternly reminded them, to the tune The Good Ship Lollipop,

 

On the good ship H Barock

It’s a short trip to the chopping block

Where the Ton Tons play

At Macouting on a chocolate bar

 

With a whimsical smile and a dainty pirouette, Axelrod soft shoed out the door, leaving Orszag and Emanuel confused and humiliated. To their consternation Obama entered, eyes cold and lips thin. He sang,

 

I’ll be dead when you’re glad, you rascal you

I’ll be dead when you’re sad, you rascal you

In November I’ll be dead

But when all is done and said

You’ll be dead before then, you rascal you

 

He stormed out, turning out the lights. In the dark, Emanuel and Orszag hugged each other, for they knew the end of the story. They slipped out of the darkened White House, humming softly an old Willie Nelson tune. Turn Out The Lights, The Party’s Over.

 

 

  

 

 

The Chief Of Staff

We continue our examination of Rahm Emanuel by asking the question: Who is Rahm Emanuel, President Obama’s Chief of Staff? Or should we say, who was he, for he will shortly be leaving his post, which no one believes is voluntary. What sort of man was he? Or is he? The answer is, he’s a tough guy, a Chicago guy, a guy who gets things done by the artful twisting of arms, by threats and coercion, or even sweet persuasion if that is what it takes. Of course with Rahm sweet persuasion means covering the brass knuckles with a freshly laundered glove. Does a man like this go quietly? Not usually. Will he have a few choice things to say on his way out the door, or out the window as the case may be? I’m counting on it.  

 

 

The Chief of Staff

He makes me laugh

He bullies, threatens, curses

He pulls the strings

On many things

To fill Obama’s purses

The Blago tape

Leaves no escape

From favors he disburses

And all dead foes

That goodness knows

Whose bodies he disperses

But now he says

Goodbye to Prez

And what is even worse is

That up his sleeves

Before he leaves

He’ll roll out all the hearses

 

 

Home Sweet Home

Rahm Emanuel, President Obama’s Chief of Staff, has recently let it be known he will shortly resign his post and return to Chicago in order to spend more time with his family. Of course he does. Of course it’s his idea. I have no doubt Rahm Emanuel has a lovely wife and kids, and that he would like to spend more time with them than his demanding job permits, but the question is, why is Obama firing him? Is there something in the Blago tapes we do not yet know? I suspect we’ll find out. It’s a cruel world. Years of slavish devotion mean nothing when you are deemed no longer useful.  

 

 

Poor poor Rahm has had his day

His style now out of fashion

Bought by The One then thrown away

To a convenient trash bin

Rahm may claim that it’s his call

But all of us know better

With gun to head he’ll take the fall

By resignation letter

It’s all his fault it’s come apart

This hope and changey promise

Just fizzled out right from the start

Another lefty bomb miss

And so somebody has to pay

For screwing up Obama

And Rahm’s the guy sent on his way

Back home to kids and momma

 

 

Scud

Four decades ago the Soviets deployed a short range, wildly inaccurate missile we called the Scud.  It’s children, a little larger, slightly more accurate and with a little longer range, is now the favored weapon of third world countries. Iran and Syria have shipped hundreds of them to Hezbullah in Lebanon, bringing every inch of Israel within range. So dangerous has this outmoded missile become in the hands of terrorists and terrorist states that the United States and Israel have been working on ways to shoot it down in boost phase with long range missiles shot from fighter planes or UAVs. The danger will come when Iran and Syria think the time is ripe to destroy Israel and Hezbullah starts shooting them at Tel Aviv. When that happens the Israelis will forcefully respond, and what happens next depends on whether Israel wants to do the job right once the war starts and take out not only Hezbullah and Syria, but Iran and Iranian nukes as well. It will happen, the only question is when. Actually, there is another question: whose side will Obama be on? I think we know the answer to that one. Obama, by declaring that the US will not re-supply Israel, has left Israel with only one option. A full scale war with Iran and Syria will very quickly draw down Israel’s war stocks, leaving them only nukes or surrender and genocide at the hands of the Arabs. Obama, by his bungling, has drawn the Middle East closer to nuclear war than it otherwise would have been.  

 

 

The Russkies built what we called Scud

We laughed and thought the thing a dud

It had no range and so we’d smile

It missed its target by a mile

But here we are some decades hence

And these old Scuds defy defense

To the extent that techie guys

Must dream up ways to clear the skies

With anti-missiles shot from planes

To catch them in their booster lanes

Now who’ve thunk  at this late date

Hezbullah would be tempting fate

By aiming one at Tel Aviv

For surely they cannot believe

Israelis won’t just hit them hard

And wipe them up across the yard

No something else is surely up

For not since Hector was a pup

Had anyone as much to lose

So Hezbullah has now to choose

Do they continue Iran’s games

Shoot off a Scud, go down in flames

Or is this all a great big bluff

And when Israelis say, Enough!

They’ll act like Arabs, fold their tents

But no, for that makes too much sense

There will be war in Middle East

And it will draw in us, at least

And likely draw in others too

And spread to places that are new

To Middle Eastern scams and schemes

And that is why to me it seems

That nukes will fly and cities burn

And rivers steam and in its turn

The sand turns glassy red with blood

And all because of some old Scud

 

 

A Yankee Doodle Dandy

A surgeon in the British army, poking fun at the rude colonial boys playing at being officers and gentlemen, wrote a ditty called Yankee Doodle, describing a yokel putting a feather in his cap and calling it macaroni, a reference to British military slang that referred to gold braid as macaroni, as we now call gold braid scrambled eggs. The rude colonial boys turned the tables and proudly proclaimed themselves Yankee Doodle, giving rise to George M. Cohan’s famous song. But Cohan went further than that. His song You’re A Grand Old Flag was the first piece of sheet music to sell over a million copies. Both songs are now part of the national consciousness. The following is homage to George M. Cohan, a true Yankee Doodle Dandy.

 

Yes, she’s a grand old flag

A high flying flag

And forever and ever she’ll wave

And we take great pride

In the men who died

To keep this the home of the brave

We’ve been tried before

In bad times and war

And we’ve always come through in the end

For the stars and stripes

Lead the drums and pipes

In the march down the street, round the bend

To the promised land

That the brothered band

Left to us by their service to all

Yes they died for the flag

For that high flying flag

May we always have brave men on call

 

 

A Rolling Stone

General McChrystal was fired Wednesday by President Obama for saying disrespectful things about the civilian authority in a very liberal magazine called Rolling Stone. The General was apologetic, but he had committed the unpardonable sin; he thought he knew how to fight a war better than some political appointee, so he had to go.

 

 

I am a rolling stone

Saying things out loud for which I must atone

So now I’m all alone

Yes I’m a rolling stone

I talked a bit too much

Saying things like he’s a dope and such and such

Got me in a lot of dutch

Yes I’m a rolling stone

Now I’m out of a job

Talking to a magazine it sure played hob

Now with the jobless mob

Yes I’m a rolling stone

See all the stars I wore

Count ‘em how you will they still count up to four

I made Obama sore

Yes I’m a rolling stone

 

 

Cincinnatus

General David Petraeus has been named to succeed General McChrystal as Supreme Commander in Afghanistan. We remember how Obama and the entire liberal chorus screamed when President Bush sent him to Iraq to surge the fight and win the war, how they took full page ads in the New York Times sliming him as General BetrayUs. But that was then, and the last thing the left wanted was for a Republican to win a war, and so they did everything in their power to see that the country lost, because if the war was lost under the hated Bush then that would mean winning votes for Democrats, and who cares about the country losing a stupid little war when votes for Democrats are at stake. But now it looks like the Afghan war is being unaccountably lost under the leadership of the Light-giver, the Messiah, the sainted Barack Hussein Obama, and so Cincinnatus has been called upon to put down his plow and save the Anointed One the momentary distress of having lost a war, and therefore votes.  

 

 

General Petraeus now is back in charge

Fighting all the battles both the small and large

Giving clear directions to the gunny sarge

Yes he will show them how

Don’t you think it’s funny that when Pres’dent Bush

Sent him to Iraq Obama tried to push

For his sacking but he’s now in Hindu Kush

Yes O’s all for him now

Remember when the Olbermann and Soros clan

And every liberal chorus gal and chorus man

Said he was BetrayUs and did all they can

To get him stoned to death

But now the story’s changed and now he’s theirs for good

All that he’s BetrayUs was misunderstood

Now the left will fight just like they always would

But just don’t hold your breath

 

 

Semper Fi

The question is being asked again – Is amphibious warfare a thing of the past? Do we really need a Marine Corps? This questioning of the necessity of the Marine Corps happens after every war. With the coming of peace the money stops, and the Navy has to fight for its share of the smaller pie, and naturally wants to spend it on ships. The Marine Corps gets reduced in size, gets the left-overs, the hand-me-downs, the old tanks the Army no longer wants, the airplanes the Navy has retired. And despite it all the Corps stays ready for the call when the country needs it. When the crisis comes the Marine Corps responds like it always has; with honor and duty and courage.

 

 

They tried to kill us many times

They tried to kill the Corps

They try to kill us every time

After every war

They cut us back and cut us down

They starve us near to death

But when dark trouble comes our way

And nation holds its breath

They call on us again to fight

And hold the banner high

And we respond and always will

With cries of Semper Fi!