Category Archives: Verse

Getting To Choose

The Chinese, the world’s number one polluters, have told the Global Warming delegates in Copenhagen that they will not be bound by nor will they abide by any carbon emission restrictions set up by the UN or anybody else, but will take their share of the trillions of dollars of Western money the UN is eager to transfer to those less fortunate, or less able, or less honest. China therefore puts the whole thing squarely in cynical perspective: the UN is run by the Third World kleptocracies and thugocracies, all of them eager to suck at the golden teat of Western wealth, and they have seized on the Global Warming scam started by Al Gore and his friends to get it. Since the earth is currently cooling and not warming, maybe cooler heads will prevail and Al and the rest of the scam artists will be put in jail.

 

 

The Chinese are a clever race

They say they’re all ‘bout saving face

And so they’ll never tell a lie

Not even kidding on the sly

They say upfront they only care

To do the only thing that’s fair

And what is fair to them, God knows

Is that their land and money grows

So that is why they’ll sell us goods

From missile parts to parka hoods

And smile at global warming news

‘Cause they’re the ones who get to choose

 

 

Nostradamus, Guest Blogger, Vol 3

Nostradamus, guest blogger, speaks elliptically, but only for effect, for he knows the future and the past, though he is unclear about the present. Nonetheless, the sage, the seer, the great one, sees the Persian Empire aglow as an Asian peninsula explodes, and a Syrian potentate expresses regrets as the sand beneath his feet turns to glass and the Afghan sky turns dark with flocks of man-made birds. 

 

 

Dear leader’s missiles will inflate

The danger faced by neighbor state

While mullahs watch the tension grow

And wonder when the thing will blow

 

The Pashtun border will be drawn

With Afghan leader as its pawn

Drones and worker bees will fly

And predators will fill the sky

 

Anointed one will now address

Syrian ophthalmologist to press

The Mid-East health and wonder why

They cannot both see eye to eye

 

 

As The World Turns

The Maersk Alabama was attacked by Somali pirates again, to be repulsed by an on-board protection crew, and a few weeks ago pirates attacked a ship a thousand miles off the coast, far beyond their usual range, a case of Darwinian adaptation. Naval vessels and reconnaissance drones of many nations now patrol inshore, forcing the pirates to go farther afield than before. But the question remains, how do the pirates stay in business in light of constant patrols? The answer seems to be that some ship-owners are paying ransom money to the pirates to leave their ships alone. All well and good for those who pay, but what of those who don’t pay, whose crews are held captive for months or years? What happens to the mostly third world crews if they are not ransomed? Piracy is the national economy of Somalia, and the present quiet period cannot last. There will be a spike in piracy any time now, and you can bet the United States will be called on to end it once and for all. 

 

 

The world turns counter-clockwise when it’s viewed from outer blue

But only if you’re looking at North Pole

When viewed above the South Pole spinning clockwise is the view

So how can spacey travelers judge the whole?

You see how difficult it is to get someone to see

That pulling teeth is not the way to go

When that someone has interest in the way it ought to be

And pirates in their boardrooms run the show

The same with little people in their countries far and wide

They scream and holler that we’re never right

And yet they’re much content to go along just for the ride

As long as Uncle Sam provides the might

Do pirates in the boardroom pay the pirates far at sea

To leave their ships alone, a quid pro quo?

Of course they do, for it is only business by the fee

And we’re all in the business don’t you know

So yes one day we’ll clean the grinning pirates from their lairs

And set the captives free to ply their trade

But don’t expect our allies then to stand up on their chairs

And give our guys a great big accolade

 

 

The Eternal Race

Iran and North Korea have defied the nuclear non-proliferation policy of the United States and the West and gotten away with it. Weapons of mass destruction are now in the hands of rogue states and will shortly be in the hands of non-state actors, who will most assuredly use them. Nations, kings and potentates have tried to ban or control the use of weapons from the dawn of history, all to no effect. The Pope once banned the crossbow as being too horrific a weapon for use by civilized men, and all the treaties, conferences and memoranda of understanding banning nuclear weapons have worked every bit as well as the Pope’s edict against the crossbow. Might as well ban sticks and stones. 

 

 

He looked upon the carnage wrought

By the new weapon all had thought

Should never be in use by civ’lized man

Sticks and stones should be enough

But clubs make warfare mighty tough

So he proposed the club face future ban

They argued for a good long while

And as they talked the warfare style

Progressed beyond the club that raised such fears

For now the weapon form of choice

Was one that had its own cruel voice

As men were killing men with swords and spears

Conferences were called again

And hopes were raised that if and when

Agreement could be reached no mat how slow

That spears would be forever banned

And peace would reign upon the land

But by that time some people had the bow

And so it went as time went on

That new replaced the weapons gone

At first the musket then the Gatling gun

The breech-load rifle then the tank

We have the inventors to thank

For giving us this most delicious fun

It must be fun if not then why

Do men then fight and men then die

With and by the weapons that they knew

It hasn’t worked this banning biz

Because there’s always some smart whiz

Who comes up with a weapon fresh with dew

So if you try to ban the nukes

Be sure that somewhere’s a Klaus Fuchs

Who smiles and says those fools don’t have a clue

The man who says we’ll have world peace

If we can make the science cease

Is either fooling him or fooling you

 

 

The Frame Of Reference

It is interesting to observe how the frame of reference dictates the response to the hypothetical case of a drug carrying mule tried in an American court of law, and how the frame of reference applies to the law of evidence regarding the amount of drugs carried, the number of trips the mule may have made, as well as the time of year and other considerations. There is another element in the frame of reference, not discussed, which is location. There are places in this world where the mule would have been summarily dispatched, regardless of quantity of drugs, regardless of number of trips, regardless of time of year. If he were lucky to be caught in a lenient society, he might get a mere forty years in jail, other places he would be beheaded. It is only in the West in general, and the United States in particular, that the justice system insists on an accurate count of the number of smiling angels dancing on the head of the pin.

 

 

Your honor, as counsel for defense

I submit to you the case

That this young man in every sense

Should never have to face

The possibility that he

Might serve a term in jail

And so I ask you set him free

And please return his bail

My client says he never had

A single ounce of drugs

He knows that stuff is really bad

He’s not one of those thugs

We realize your honor that

Red-handed he was caught

But I am here to go to bat

‘Cause that’s how I was taught

The calendar says it is June

The poppies are not ripe

We all agree he had a spoon

As well a well-used pipe

As for the airport locker keys

He met a friend that night

He’d not arrived from overseas

He never made that flight

As to the tiny bags of smack

They found inside his coat

He says if you will send him back

Next time he’ll take a boat

 

 

It Isn’t CO2 We’re Against, It’s You

The greatest shakedown and transfer of wealth in recorded history is underway in Copenhagen as we speak. The global warming scam artists, whose radical left-wing ideology requires them to destroy Western society, and corrupt and often murderous third world dictators thirsting for the money that will flow their way, are gearing up to fleece the West in general and the United States in particular of hundreds of billions of dollars in pursuit of a non-solution to a non-existent threat to the planet. Science and technology have combined to make it possible to turn coal into gas in an environmentally friendly way, thereby making it possible to produce electricity by converting existing coal burning plants to gas. You would think the environmental whackos would be jumping for joy at the prospect of removing all that carbon dioxide from the air, but you would be wrong. The enviro whack-jobs are against any such thing, preferring wind and solar power to take us all back to the 12th century.

 

 

Oh no, he said, quite horrified

You can’t make gas that way

When all us whacks are starry-eyed

About the coming day

That we will all be carbon free

And people thus secure

From danger from the rising sea

And air is clear and pure

So who needs carbon anyhow

It’s surely been a curse

I see a tree of many bough

And say it could be worse

‘Cause trees and things eat up the stuff

That’s why it’s all around

I say with trees we’ve had enough

Let’s burn’em to the ground

That way there’d be no need to have

The carbon here at all

And then our conscience we can salve

And pridefully stand tall

What’s that you say, the trees and things

Turn carbon into air?

The stuff we breathe, we human beings

That God made oh so fair?

But don’t you see, that’s just the point

When we’ve no atmosphere

The planet’s then a gorgeous joint

Because you won’t be here

 

 

Go Fetch

Many worried people are concerned that we will not be able to pay off the enormous debt President Obama has saddled the country with by passing those enormous stimulus bills that have succeeded in creating $40,000 a year jobs for the bargain price of just $240,000 each, as well as Cash for Clunkers which was so wildly successful it only cost the taxpayers about $24,000 to give buyers a maximum of $4,000 off on the new car. It would have been cheaper, many say, to just give the money away on street corners. Be that as it may, the problem now is we have this enormous debt, and somebody’s got to pay for it. The solution, I believe, is selling our pets to each other for inflated prices. That way, tax revenues increase, since each seller pays taxes on the sale price. If the whole pet owning country engages in this activity, the Obama debt burden would soon be paid off.  

 

 

A dog was for sale for a million

No offers came in and so that’s

Why the owner gave up and called Lillian

And traded for two of her cats

One cat was named Miles ‘tother Standish

Five hundred thou each was the price

A half a mil each seemed outlandish

But Miles was especially nice

The notion soon gained wide acceptance

That selling one’s pets for huge sums

Was the way to get out of the debt stance

And see that economy hums

And so Spot and Fido were sold off

For sums that astonished them all

And pretty soon all debt was told off

And kitties were now put and call

The market chimed in and the Dow Jones

Climbed fast and soon saw record heights

As doggies who only could chew bones

Were sold for their barks not their bites

The collapse when it came came most quickly

As shaggy dogs found their way home

And owners, some pleased and some prickly

Got out the dog brushes and comb

It all ended up in our favor

It ended up nice as you please

With an ending one really could savor

With the bag being held by Chinese

 

 

Battleship Row

Guts and valor are words not usually associated with inanimate objects, but ships are not inanimate objects. Ships are live, living things. Ships, as well as men, can be tough and resilient. Such were the ships of Battleship Row.

 

0755 SUNDAY, 7 DECEMBER 1941

 

A quiet, peacetime Sunday morning. Seven battleships swung gently at their moorings; Maryland, Oklahoma, Tennessee, West Virginia, Arizona, Nevada and California. Pacific Fleet flagship Pennsylvania was in drydock. When the attack came, half their crews were ashore, and most of the officers. None had steam up, for it was Sunday, and all was at peace. Except Nevada. Nevada had steam. Nevada could move. At the height of the attack, with burning and exploding ships all around her, already severely hurt by a torpedo to her port side, Nevada, under Lt. Commander Francis J. Thomas, senior officer aboard, broke out her big battle ensign and stood down the channel, heading for the open sea. Sailors on the burning ships cheered and threw their caps in the air, but Nevada’s gallant sortie was short lived. Five Japanese dive bombers laid her low, beaching her.

 

The battleships were ultimately raised and rebuilt, those that were salvageable. They rejoined the fleet, but the war had passed them by. It was a carrier war now, and the World War 1 era battleships were too slow, could not keep up with the fast carriers. They were relegated to fire support, and accompanied the Marines in their march across the Pacific, bombarding the beaches, their 14 and 16 inch guns trained on palm trees instead of dreadnoughts, declared unfit to do the job for which they were built. Until Surigao.

 

SURIGAO STRAIT, 0351 TO 0409 hours, 25 OCTOBER 1944

 

Vice Admiral Nishimura, with a force of battleships, cruisers and destroyers, was heading for the Leyte beaches and the soft-skinned, vulnerable transports, still loaded with troops. Standing across his path was Admiral Oldendorf, and six old fire support battleships, all but Maryland and Mississippi on Battleship Row that Sunday morning in December. The other four were California, Tennessee, West Virginia and Pennsylvania. Oldendorf put his weary old battleships in line ahead, a Battle Line, as battleships had fought since the 17th century, and waited for Nishimura. At 0351 the big guns lit the sky. Oldendorf brought his big ships across the Japanese front, crossing the T, the dream of every admiral down the centuries, doing to the Japanese what Togo had done to the Russians at Tsushima nearly forty years earlier. The Japanese fought back, but when Nishimura turned away his battleships were gone, along with most of his heavy cruisers.

 

Surigao was the last battleship to battleship action of WWII, and very likely the last big gun surface action battleship fight the world is likely to see, and it was fought by ships that had been sunk at Pearl Harbor and returned to life. Ships, like men, can be judged by their deeds, and some, like the ships of Battleship Row, by their sheer stubbornness, their refusal easily to die. Ships, like men, are alive, and though it took the ships of Battleship Row almost three years, they gained their revenge in the only way they knew how, with their guns.

 

 

Torn by bombs, wracked by fire

They settled slowly to the harbor floor

Breathing their last, or so some thought

But not they

Rising, they joined their kind

Who scorned them now

As the young scorn the old

The slow

They did their job

Plodding the vastness of the central sea

Island to island

A supporting cast

Gaining no praise

No, that was for the young

The swift

The carriers

Until

Until

That blessed night

When called upon to be themselves

They were

Themselves and more

 

 

 

The Seals Of Disapproval

Navy Seals recently captured a high value, long sought, al Qaeda bigwig, who is now suing the Seals for allegedly punching him in the face, claiming he has a split lip to prove it. In light of this monstrous brutality, the shocked and embarrassed Navy instituted court-martial proceedings, but the Seals demanded, and got, a trial in civilian court, realizing that even if they were acquitted at the court-martial their careers in the Navy were over. Only in America, and only in the current climate of guilt, self-loathing, multiculturalism, feminism and political correctness could such a thing occur. Imagine captured Nazi concentration camp guards suing our GIs for handling them roughly and having the offending GIs court-martialed. Sometimes I think we are not prepared to win, nor do we desire to. 

 

 

So how, one feels,

Can Navy Seals

Those paragons of virtue

Have such as those

Who punch a nose

While trying to just search you

I mean to say

That every day

We hear of such rude manners

From Muslim men

Who then again

Are forced to see the banners

Of western states

Fly where it grates

On Muslim pride and station

So he’s excused

He’s been abused

As well as his whole nation

So that is why

The courts must try

The miscreants who slugged him

We can’t forget

We cannot let

Go free the man who mugged him

So when we catch

A slimy batch

We should not punch or harm them

Just shoot them all

And watch them fall

Just watch but don’t alarm them

In many ways

The good guy pays

He’s done his job and duty

And now he needs

For his good deeds

To pay a lawyer’s booty

 

 

Nostradamus, Guest Blogger, Vol 2

I, Nostradamus, sage, scholar, clairvoyant, renowned for a magical ability to predict everything, up to, but not including, six furlongs, see many things, though dimly and fleetingly, as through a glass darkly. I see the Middle East shimmering, as the summer heat shimmers on the horizon. I see the sub-continent fracturing along religious and ethnic lines. In short, things don’t look so hot right now.

 

 

Pakis crumble dust to dust

Taliban a sudden gust

Pakis fearing O’s rebukes

Give Taliban just half their nukes

 

In Middle East the fear grows long

Shadows cloud the growing strong

Persians smile say Jews bye bye

But not before the 15s fly

 

Afghan warlords cannot read

But they are of their fathers’ seed

In their hills they sit and wait

To see who’s next to tempt the fate