Monthly Archives: September 2011

Waitin’ For The Train To Come In

4 Replies

President Obama says he has a plan to create many boucoup jobs, and wants everyone to get on board. But he doesn’t realize the train has already left. Maybe he’s waiting for the next one.

 

 

Waitin’ for the train to come in

‘Publicans as evil as sin

Waitin’ for the choo choo to blow off steam

Fill ‘er up with people who share the dream

Union bosses wanting in on the scheme

And off she goes with one mighty din

Running sprightly straight right down the track

Listen to that clickety clack

All we want is for us to have the chance

To show you my old White House knows how to dance

We’ll get this country going and then old Nance

Will join us when we take the House back

Obama pulls the whistle, a great big grin

He loves the open cab with rain blowin’ in

When up above there comes now a mighty shout

Slow down there Mr. Pres’dent,  the bridge is out

We’re goin’ in the river and there’s no doubt

This wreck will take a whole lot of spin

The gandy dancers straightened the track all right

The prez and his advisors walked through the night

Washington was dark and closed when they got back

Of course the MSM will cut them all some slack

Some hocus pocus numbers and we’re in the black

Twenty twelve won’t be a pretty sight

 

See my novels and collected verse at Amazon, paperback and 99 cent Kindle HERE

 

 

The End Of The Line

5 Replies

It is becoming increasingly clear that the Democratic Party of a Marxist Barack Hussein Obama has reached for a socialist bridge too far, and the public now sees clearly that the end stage of socialism means political and economic death for the country. The end of the Democratic Party as it is now constituted is near, and when the end comes, it will come quickly. The Whigs were a viable political party as late as 1854, and by 1860 they were gone. When the party’s over, the party’s over. The Democrats will soldier on, slowly sinking in their own feculent morass, but the Old Establishment Republican party will be reborn, probably under the same name, but under new management, a small government, constitutional party that listens to the will of the people, and believes the United States is worth defending.

 

 

For long we’ve slept in cocooned dreams

As Marxists gained the day

Leading us down narrow schemes

That bade the future pay

For present gifts and present plums

Just let the good times roll

Pay no attention to what comes

When time to pay the toll

That time is now, for all our lives

Depend on changing course

It’s time to bring out the long knives

And take it back by force

The force of angry voices loud

Who use the ballot box

To turn away the Marxist crowd

And change the White House locks

 

 See my novels and collected verse at Amazon, paperback and 99 cent Kindle HERE

 

 

Rendition

4 Replies

“Rendition” was the non-scary word the United States used to get terror suspects off the streets and therefore harmless, unable to kill Americans. Naturally, the Democrats were horrified that Muslim young men were being captured and turned over to the brutal ministrations of the Libyan or Egyptian security services, who tortured the poor little jihadi young men whose only crime was to kill Americans. Who wouldn’t be horrified at the brutality of harshly interrogating terrorists in order to forestall attacks on innocent American civilians? The Left has stopped Rendition, but fortunately we have hard men who go hunting in the night for the jihadi bastards, and send them off to Allah. 

 

 

The Left believes that every man

Has goodness in his heart

And bursts with love and kindliness

If we’d but do our part

To see that he is treated well

His dignity repaired

And our excuses for his acts

Are handsomely prepared

But others, made of sterner stuff

Go hunting in the night

And send the bastards all to hell

While staying out of sight

Who guards the walls, who keeps us safe?

What kind of men are these?

The kind of men the Lefties hate

They smile but don’t say please

 

 See my novels and collected verse at Amazon, paperback and 99 cent Kindle HERE

 

 

Gutenberg

4 Replies

The newspapers that gleefully printed Julian Assange’s Wikileaks files of classified American documents are now trying to distance themselves from Assange because it appears they may now be held criminally liable. But who is truly at fault for the papers committing treason? I blame Gutenberg. Without the printing press we would never have heard of Julian Assange, or the New York Times, or much of anything else. It is all the fault of Johannes Gensfleisch zur Laden zum Gutenberg, who invented the printing press in 1450, and thereby changed the world. Without Gutenberg there would be no newspapers to collude with an Assange to destroy the very society that sustains them. And so they die, the Guardian and the Times, along with lesser colleagues, kicking and screaming, graceless and pathetic, a pale shadow of their former powerful selves. My friend Johannes was beside himself with sadness and recrimination at what his grand invention had become.

 

 

I tell you sir, it’s all my fault

Had I not made my press

This Wikileaks would not be here

Unless I miss my guess

The printing press has led us all

Right down that primrose path

Where smears, conceits and downright lies

Pile up, just do the math

Until the day it all implodes

And readers say the hell

With all the lying lino types

Who print what now won’t sell

Johannes, boychick, I did say

It’s surely not your fault

Five hundred fifty years and you

Are part of the Gestalt

The printing press, I cried aloud

Has made us more than men

For gods require more than wine

It’s knowledge, do ye ken

That makes the world now what it is

Makes us a human race

Ah yes, he said, with sorrowed smile

But we have lost our place

The book of life is not by type

Nor not by keystroke writ

The Guardian, the New York Times

Are covered now with

Hold on! I cried, I’ll stop you there

Newspapers, yes, are dead

But books will ever sing your name

Without you naught is read

And children read no nurs’ry rhymes

And students pass no test

You’re not at fault for Wikileaks

Indeed sir, we are blessed

That you were put upon this earth

By God to spread the word

What matter that one tiny branch

Of printing is interred

 

 

The Mao Tease Falcon

4 Replies

You will pardon me for not putting this in verse, but President Obama is looking for a fall guy to take the blame for his own ineptitude, and he has settled on the Tea Party. In The Maltese Falcon, Sam spade suggests to Gutman that they make the gunsel the fall guy and give him to the cops. Many years ago Victor Appleton produced a vast number of juvenile books, whose hero, Tom Swift, spoke extensively in adverbs. Years later there arose a cult devoted to the advancement of the Tom Swifty, as in  “What we need is a good hard hitting outfielder,” the manager said ruthlessly. With the president as Sam Spade, we present an excerpt from that great American classic, Tom Swift and the Mao Tease Falcon.

 

 

  “We need a fall guy,” Sam said clumsily. “Let’s give them the gunsel.”

  “You are a character, sir,” Gutman smiled. “He is the only man who knows the whereabouts of the falcon.”

  “It’s not a falcon,” Sam said owlishly. “It’s a bust of Mao, stolen off my White House Christmas Tree.”

  “Nonetheless, he is the only one who knows where it is.”

  “Then ask the question,” Sam said testily. “Make him tell us where it is.”

  “He says the last he saw it was in Ho Fung’s restaurant.”

  “He’s full of soup!” Sam cried wontonly. “I want that bust and I want it now!”

  “You are a character, sir, you truly are.”

 

 See my novels and collected verse at Amazon, paperback and 99 cent Kindle HERE

 

 

Louis Qatorze

6 Replies

Kings had less power than today’s politicians and bureaucrats, who can, with a midnight vote or the writing of a regulation, enrich or destroy those they wish to enrich or destroy.

 

 

When Louis Quatorze was on the throne

He shone as though the sun

Was something he alone did own

Perfection he had won

But Louis had less power than

A President today

Who points a finger at a man

And puts that man in play

Where regulations favor him

And tax codes are arranged

To guarantee by lawful whim

That taxes are estranged

A Congressman, a bureaucrat

A K Street lobbyist

A Senator, a Eurocrat

Make Lou a hobbyist

They all have power Louis lacked

The power to coerce

The power to choose whom he backed

The power of the purse

Yes Louis had what he loved most

His crown, his courtiers wise

But government officials boast

A thousand- fold Versailles

 

 See my novels and collected verse at Amazon, paperback and 99 cent Kindle HERE

 

The Magic Loom

4 Replies

Is anyone really dead? Is all only a dream? Are our lives only a thread in an ever larger tapestry woven by invisible weavers? It is often said that we never truly die until everyone who remembers us is dead. But what if Facebook remembers us?

 

 

Too late he slept, the night had fled

As windows turned to gray

And wind-borne ghosts circled his bed

While wolves began their play

They mocked him softly all the while

He moved, but did not wake

Dark shadows swam with glinting smile

Upon the darkened lake

Fierce riders thundered with a scream

As phantoms filled the room

And sly hags wove the nightly dream

Upon the magic loom

 

 See my novels and collected verse at

Amazon, paperback and 99 cent Kindle HERE

The Two Trillion Dollar Bazooka

4 Replies

Treasury Secretary Geithner has called for an additional two trillion dollars in aid to Europe to prevent the collapse of the European banking system. Geithner calls this a ‘two trillion dollar bazooka’. In the dim distant past, when I was a lad, during the FDR era, a comedian named Bob Burns invented a musical instrument that looked mighty like a piece of stovepipe. In fact, I believe it was a piece of stovepipe. So when a stovepipe shaped anti-tank weapon came along for WW2, it was naturally called a bazooka. This is where we are, Geithner calling for a two trillion dollar bazooka to stave off the inevitable for another day or two. I remember laughing when Bob Burns played his bazooka. I’m not laughing now.

 

 

Oh yes our Bernanke

Will sometimes get cranky

When some say all’s darkness and gloom

He’ll just print more money

Then all will be sunny

Just let the bazookas go boom

The problem of course is

There are no more horses

Through open barn doors they’ve all fled

And all the bazookas

Aimed by those palookas

Are now aimed at Bernanke’s Fed

 

 See my novels and collected verse at Amazon, paperback and 99 cent Kindle HERE

 

 

The Actor

3 Replies

Obama delivered his opening campaign speech to a joint session of Congress a week or so ago under the impression that the grandeur of the setting would mean grandeur to his plebeian words. But of course the great marble hall of the Congress did not elevate the commonplace words and ideas to the mean level of inanity. Obama has nothing to say, but he insists on saying it anyway, in the mistaken belief that all the world loves Barack Obama just as much as he does.

 

 

The actor says that without him

The words would have no meaning

Creation starts when given voice

From teleprompter screening

The singer says they’re only notes

Just simple marks on paper

Until the singer gives them life

‘Til then they are just vapor

And so it is that politics

Makes men and women scramble

For writers better than they are

Without them they would ramble

And speak on things they know not of

All vague, opaque and garbled

Believing that they stir the soul

Because the hall is marbled

 

 See my novels and collected verse at Amazon, paperback and 99 cent Kindle HERE

 

 

 

 

The Inventor

4 Replies

It now develops that Solyndra, a maker of solar panels and a major contributor to the Obama presidential campaign, is now bankrupt after being given 535 million dollars in Stimulus money. The question is, where is what is left of that 535 million dollars? How much has been quietly turned back to the Obama presidential campaign? After all, if the company is bankrupt then that means all the money has been spent, doesn’t it? But what if it doesn’t mean that? What if the whole thing was just a way to get a couple million dollars into the Obama war chest? Am I being too cynical? Maybe not. Solyndra execs have just announced they will be taking the fifth amendment when they testify before Congress at the end of the week. But maybe it was just the name. Solyndra. Maybe cylindrical was not in style for solar panels. I asked Thomas Edison, the great inventor, what he thought of cylindrical solar panels.

 

 

The problem is, young man, he said

A cylinder is graceless

I know not who designed it such

Presumably he’s faceless

You will recall my gramophone

Used cylinder recording

Before I realized that flat

Was much much more rewarding

Oh cylinders may have their place

Beer cans, a great invention

Wine bottles, sure, and many other

Things that I could mention

But solar panels need be flat

To catch the sunlight fairly

That’s why the things should not be round

And why they’re built so squarely

So now you know just why the name

Solyndra is a tip-off

The cylinders caught all the cash

And kept it, a big rip-off

And that is how Obama pays

The cost of his believers

Tax dollars fly into the hands

Of bankruptcy receivers

Solyndrical, he whispered low

And vanished with a flicker

And left me with an longish rhyme

To end without a kicker

 

 See my novels and collected verse, paperback and 99 cent Kindle, at Amazon HERE