You remember Julia, don’t you? Julia was the star of an Obama campaign ad who told the world she owed all she was and ever would be to Government. Public (Government) schools, college student loans, Pell grants, Government health care, a nice Government job, the whole nine yards. Julia was set for life, thanks to Government. I had forgotten all about her until, curiously enough, I met her in Walmart the other day, and she seemed sad. I asked what the problem was, and she said she had a dream that she was the last of her kind, and the very thought was enough to drive her to Walmart. She said

 

I dreamed I was the last to lead

A life I didn’t earn

A life of thoughtless effort and ennui

Where government met every need

A grant at every turn

An elegant French boyfriend named Henri

And in that dream a darkened cloud

Came down in floating mist

And covered all the earth in darkened storm

I was so scared I screamed out loud

As in the dream a fist

Smashed everything I owned in my old dorm

And there I was without degrees

Just cast out in the cold

Alone with not a Federal grant in sight

A world full of Simon Legrees

And I was getting old

I tell you it was just a horrid night

I walked for miles until I came

Upon a fearful wraith

Who looked at me with dark forbidding eyes

He smiled and said we’re both the same

For I too lacked the faith

To trust my brains and skills to win the prize

And now the world that we have built

Of government and sloth

Has crumbled into ruin and despair

You see me now just filled with guilt

Arrayed in foul sack cloth

Alone, dead to the world and none to care

And now the tumbrel comes for thee

For thou has eaten well

Of fruits belonging to the humble few

Who worked and slaved only to see

Elected imps of hell

Give all they sweated for to you and me

Come join me in my ill fit grave

We are, you see, the last

We squandered both our lives and now it’s done

We took whatever the State gave

We had a fine repast

But now it’s over, we’ve seen our last sun

She shook her head and gave a smile

Said it was but a dream

I’ve got a handsome Pell Grant in the works

Thanks to the State I’ve made my pile

I’ve licked up all the cream

And all the rest of you are just plain jerks