EASTER 2013

The telescope doth wonders show

Of galaxies of billion stars

Backlit by hydrogen aglow

All racing up the red shift bars

Some say the universe was not

That nothing was, had always been

Then nothing suddenly got hot

And into something it did spin

And in that something there arose

Some hydrogen, such tiny things

And that in time the story goes

Gave birth to cabbages and kings

And yet that story gives one pause

Just how did nothing come to be

A something, was it just because

Of accident, or destiny?

One cannot look through telescopes

And think it came about by chance

A higher power gave us hopes

And dreams, and invites to the dance

The Soviets, excuse me, the Russians, in the name of gas giant Gazprom, have offered Cyprus a bailout if the Cypriots agree to give Gazprom leases in its off shore natural gas fields. Cyprus has rejected the offer and Putin is outraged. As for me, I stand foursquare with the cypress trees.

I think that I shall never see

A Gazprom lovely as a tree

A cypress tree with leafy boughs

That soothe the worried, furrowed brows

Of Cypriots whose money seems

To be a part of EU dreams

While Russians look to score real big

And promise to use just one rig

If only they be put in charge

Of Cyprus finance by and large

Rejected, Putin storms and scowls

As Greeks razz Putin with wild howls

The trees meanwhile just sit and wait

Uncertain of the island’s fate

We live, unfortunately, in an era in which the news we are fed is not news, it is Obama hagiography and Democratic Party talking points. We are not told the truth of Syria, of Benghazi, or any of the Obama administration’s malfeasances. The United States has devolved into two kinds of voters; low information voters who get all their information about the world around them from ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN and National Public Radio, all of which are hand puppets of the Democratic Party, and high information voters who get their information from the Internet and reading books. Low information voters know nothing of what goes on in the country because the television anchors they watch and believe don’t tell them. Low information voters, these anchors believe, are best kept in the dark, in order to ensure they vote Democrat.

The anchor reads his lines on-screen

And truth is what we then have seen

And ever after what is known

Is what the anchor deigned be shown

Cyprus is in a tight spot. The EU has demanded a cut of all bank account savings before it will commit to the latest bailout, and citizens are upset that their savings will be taken from them. I spoke to a Cypriot friend just today and he was outraged, demanding the United States do something.  “I love Obama,” he sobbed, “and I go to the airport every day looking for Air Force One.” I asked him what the United States could do, and he said

You have money stuffed in closets

Trillions more in safe deposits

You could easy save dear Cyprus from this fuss

Write a check or just a promise

See I’m not a Doubting Thomas

I believe Obama cares for folks like us

Phones are free and so is healthcare

And your banks are all on wealthfare

They could spare a dime or two to help our cause

Have Obama make us voters

And we’ll be Obama doters

And we’ll pull that lever often without pause

See we follow your elections

And we see you make selections

Based upon how much is promised to the proles

Please don’t think that we’ve intruded

We just want to be included

Have Obama put us on your voter rolls

Whispers surround the presidency of Barack Obama, whispers that say his supreme incompetence and monumental indifference can be traced to his status as a puppet to internal forces that themselves are fractured and divided. President Obama therefore dances to competing puppet strings, the dances orchestrated by the radical leftists now installed in the White House. President Obama likens himself to Lincoln, when in fact he is likened to Pinocchio. There was nothing more telling than when the Benghazi consulate was attacked and four Americans killed, an incurious Obama went to bed.

I vowed no further words from me

About Obama and his kind

Of human scum who work to see

The Constitution undermined

The military hollowed out

The Bill of Rights an empty joke

The confiscation without doubt

Of legal guns of honest folk

We’re told Obama cannot lie

And yet his many mirrors show

When leaving braver men to die

He danced like stringed Pinocchio

The Obama administration from the first knew it had a problem with its anti-war leftist base, and so it declared there was no War OnTerror, it was all a simple matter of law enforcement. They outlawed the word ‘war’ and replaced it with the words ‘kinetic activity’, thus turning the bombing of Libya by the US Navy as something other than war. The Obama administration never engaged in overt action that might disturb the Left, it ‘led from behind’. Obama knew that if he only changed the words his leftist base would remain quiet, even as they saw through the deceit. The Obama administration always obeys the Constitution, except when it is inconvenient. Do they lie to us? Do bears play tag in the woods?

You say we lie and it is true

But only when it’s good for you

There’s evil in the world today

And somehow someone has to pay

The Constitution is obeyed

It never says that no drone raid

May strike a citizen of ours

But we contend that of our powers

The right to kill is in our hands

Which right to do so quite expands

As lawyers ply their sacred text

To tell us what we may do next

And others queue up one by one

To justify what we’ve just done

And so my friends go back to sleep

And pray the Lord our souls to keep

Have you ever noticed that tin pot dictators throughout the world invariably wear Rolex watches? Have you ever noticed that they style themselves as men of the people, yet they live in mansions, are surrounded by beautiful women, and drink the finest wine and wear designer clothes? Wonder no longer. It is all part of the winning persona. No oppressed and depressed peon wants to be ruled by someone just like himself. You wear a Rolex watch and you are idolized by the world’s left wing press. Wear a Timex, like George W. Bush, and the world’s left wing press snickers and sneers. I spoke to a tin pot dictator recently, a man who wore a Timex, and he explained what happened.

I wear my heart outside my sleeves

I speak of that which man believes

I look the part of common man

Coiffed hair, clipped nails, a winter tan

My women elegant and slim

Masseurs and workouts at the gym

My speeches ring eternal truths

My words bring voters to the booths

My smile bedazzles womankind

My motorcades pass streets full lined

And yet the Left won’t budge a notch

My sin, I wear a Timex watch

The president of the United States has many decisions to make, and President Obama seems entirely reluctant to make them. Which is why he insists on leading from behind. That way he won’t have to make the call, and thus is able to absolve himself from blame when things go wrong, as they so often do. And so the White House undoubtedly has a plan for Syria or Lebanon or Iran or the Chinese or any of the other threats to the security interests of the United States, but when it comes time to implement one of them, it turns out there is no plan because no one can decide which one it should be. If it isn’t Plan 1a, or 1b, or maybe even 2a, then it must be Plan 2b, right?  The following is a transcript of Obama demanding the Cabinet come up with options. Obama, as Hitler was fond of saying, goes about his business with all the assurance of a sleepwalker.

2b or not 2b, that is the question

Or maybe there are questions not to ask

To act at all could surely bring disaster

Why set a man to do a hopeless task

1a was much too risky in the long run

1b had flaws that made us wince with pain

2a was little better but was simpler

2b just takes us back to 1 again

And so I shall announce my firm decision

3a it is and that’s my final word

So I’ll expect to see 3a tomorrow

And everyone involved of course be heard

You guys and gals at State, Defense and Homeland

Submit in detail what you think we need

And Commerce, Labor, Energy and Housing

Will do the same of course with all due speed

You guys at Goldman Sachs will put your oar in

You Google guys and gals will data mine

And Axelrod and guys will do some polling

And have it on my desk by half past nine

This being president is all so stressful

No time to exercise or sleep or talk

A good thing I have found the right solution

I get my sleep and at the same time walk

Clubs were probably the first weapons used by man against other men, while the stone was the first missile and first method of execution. We’ve come a long way from stoning adulteresses and throwing rocks at each other, but not as far as you might think. An intercontinental ballistic missile is just a bigger rock with a longer range.

Sticks and stones were once the things

With which we fought our wars

And stones were used to crown the kings

And execute the whores

And then the sword and bow and lance

Were followed by the gun

And then to cap the weapons dance

We just unleashed the sun

And now with missiles swift and tall

And weapons of such force

Soon wars will not be fought at all

Except with stones of course

In England, school students are permitted to declare the gender of their choice, without the parents being notified. Thus a boy can tell the school he’s a girl, and as far as the school is concerned, he’s a girl, permitted to use the girls’ bathrooms. I don’t know about you, but if I were an English teenaged boy I would be very much tempted to take advantage of the opportunity. I probably would not have, for I had been taught never to go into the girls’ bathroom, but nobody ever said anything about the Ladies’ Lounge.

I remember the day I lost my way

And wandered by mistake

Into a gorgeous ladies’ lounge

And did a double take

Soft lighting, carpet, and soft chairs

And mirrors by the score

Embraced a room of women who

Looked up as through the door

The apparition that was I

Asked pardon for my fault

They looked away as if to say

Too bad, it’s only Walt