Tag Archives: hillary clinton

Foggy Bottom

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Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is maneuvering to make the State Department the top dog in the Obama administration, replacing the Department of Defense in all things related to foreign policy. If she is successful, and she already has the willing acceptance of Obama and Valerie Jarrett, then no longer will the foreign policy of the United States be guided in any part by the strategic military interests of the United States. Foggy Bottom will have full and final say, and we know where that will lead. The State Department is full of career Arabists, who hate Israel and side with the Palestinians. And of course State believes that giving money to our enemies will make them love us.

 

 

Obama says when things be boggy

He hands it off to those at Foggy

And when he’s by the gonads got ‘em

That’s when he calls in those at Bottom

The problem is those Foggy people

Think piling money in a heap’ll

Cure the ills of those who hate us

And make them want to kiss and date us

 

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Sometime

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Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has become a non-player in world affairs. It’s all very well for us to feel good about ourselves for making a woman Secretary of State, but the outside world, particularly the muslim world, pay no attention to what a woman says, particularly a woman who has no armed men at her disposal. Hillary Clinton is no Margaret Thatcher. Clinton wags a finger but everyone knows the United States of President Obama will do nothing to protect its friends, its allies, or even itself. And so she wags a finger at Israel, the only democracy and the only dependable friend in the Middle East, while smiling at Syria as it swallows Lebanon and looking on in bemusement as Egypt prepares to be taken over by the Muslim Brotherhood. The only thing she is reasonably accomplished at is wagging her finger at Israel.

 

 

With Clinton there the phony

War is all baloney

She’ll wag a finger bony

Sometime

To Israel she natters

Peace in our time’s what matters

These Arabs are Mad Hatters

Sometime

Therefore I do beseech you

I’ve tried so hard to reach you

There’s lessons I must teach you

Sometime

Please listen to my dictum

You must not make a victim

Of people when you’ve licked ‘em

Sometime

You know we stand beside you

Whatever may betide you

Although I may deride you

Sometime

We’ll let this crisis play out

The USA will stay out

We’ll help you find your way out

Sometime

And if you lose we’ll shudder

As you die in the gutter

I’ll be your best tut-tutter

Sometime

 

 

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A Meeting At State

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Hillary Clinton called our Ambassadors from all over the world to Washington to discuss the Egyptian crisis. The meeting, held Tuesday at the State Department, began with an opening statement by the Secretary of State, reminding the assembled glitterati of the seriousness of the situation.

 

 

Hillary speaks: A crisis is upon us while

We’re sitting here discussing

What’s happening along the Nile

Please Susan stop your fussing

As I was saying things look tight

Mubarak may be leaving

No Susan you don’t look a fright

What, John, you’ll not be grieving?

I’ve heard friends in Court of Saint James

Are standing with us, yes Fred

They share our goals and share our aims

Was that ‘rubbish’ you just said?

And please stop passing little notes

No longer we’re in high school

And making little paper boats

Is not what thinkest I cool

But please I beg you, do attend

We have our work to tend to

Please Harry I will not offend

But hold your mail to send to

Ambassador, it gives me pain

To have to say to you now

Just please put up that aeroplane

Or I shall have a moo cow

The yoots want Mubarak away

With riot mobs as we speak

So think of what we’ve said this day

And meet again here next week

 

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Our Very Own Odd Couple

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Former President Bill Clinton just won’t go away. Named as the go-between in the job offer to Congressman Sestak to get out of the race against Arlen Specter, Bill is still in the news on a regular basis. Hillary, whose latest was to tell a foreign journalist that the United States Justice Department is going to sue the State of Arizona for daring to uphold the law of the land, has amply demonstrated that she has no business being Secretary of State or any other responsible position. But none of this matters, for it seems the Clintons will always be with us. We know Bill’s story, and how he got there, but what of Hillary? First Lady, Senator from New York, Secretary of State, none of which would have happened had she not married Bill. The true story of how Bill and Hillary met has not been told, except to me, by an acquaintance from Arkansas, who knew them back in the sweet used to be.

 

 

Young Hill, fresh out of school of law

While driving south for pleasure

Did chance to be in Arkansas

Which she thought was a treasure

She thought she’d stay a little while

But not for long, no, mercy

The backwoods didn’t suit her style

But better than New Jercy

She thought she better get a job

A good one would be dandy

She asked a guy whose shirt said Bob

Who said see Bill or Randy

You’ll find them in old Frank’s Saloon

Most evenin’s after dinner

You’ll know them, Randy’s a balloon

While Bill’s a little thinner

She wondered what they did for funs

In woods so deep, my gracious

And stuffed a pair of tiny guns

Into her bra capacious

Inside she found a lookin’ guy

A-grinnin’ and a-leerin’

He fixed her with his wand’rin eye

So graciously endearin’

She said hello and might by chance

You’re either Bill or Randy

I’m both he laughed and we can dance

To good old boy Moe Bandy

They spun the floor, her head awhirl

They danced the floor so lightly

She thought I’m just a college girl

He’s holding me too tightly

And what is more he is for sure

So absolutely charming

And though I’m just the girl du jour

This feeling is alarming

She knew she had to pry him free

She’d have to try the pistols

She hated how he hummed off key

She didn’t like the whistles

She pulled her guns, said you’re too much

I like my men more strangerous

He grinned, said ah could tell by touch

Them mammalia was derringerous

You weren’t all that scared, she said

Are guns in bras so normal

And with a grin he shook his head

Said not when goin’ formal

He said a gal he sometimes saw

Who every woman hates

She always carried in her bra

A pair of 38s

They fell in love right then and there

To everyone a mystery

They pledged their lives they each would share

The rest, they say, is history

 

 

This Land Is Mined Land

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The United States government of Barack Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton have thrown the Israelis under the bus for daring to contemplate building housing in their own country. Barack and Hillary seem to feel the Israelis have no right to consider the land of Israel as belonging to the people living there, not when it serves the Obama purpose of sucking up to Arabs. The Israelis live in a political and military minefield and Obama seems intent on forcing them to walk over it.

 

 

This land is mined land

This land inured land

Not California

Or the New York island

But they’re our friend, so

Don’t let it end, so

Barack we beg you

Don’t let them die

They won’t go quiet

They will not buy it

That they must heed to

Your slightest whim

If Iran acts now

Here are the facts now

The mid-east blazes

And then grows dim

 

 

We’re With You All The Way

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Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State, in a recent visit to Kabul, has assured President Karzai and the government of Afghanistan that we would never abandon them. They seem strangely unreassured, particularly as President Obama in his speech Tuesday has stated emphatically that after eighteen months we would abandon them. So President Obama’s definition of never seems to be eighteen months.

 

 

Ah no, the President has said,

The word sellout’s verboten

So please don’t fret your pretty head

As soon you will be votin’

For Taliban who will of course

Be kind and gentle rulers

We know you’ll love the new strong horse

Except for your pre-schoolers

Who will not be allowed in class

If they’re of the wrong gender

Nor will your Christians find the glass

Half full but they must render

Obeisance to that Allah guy

Whose mercy has no ending

But in the meantime please don’t try

The rules of mercy bending

We are behind you all the way

We’re here for you forever

In passing I just want to say

That we will leave you never

Of course we know we’re pulling out

But that is not to worry

What’s that you say?  What’s that you shout?

Then go and what’s your hurry?

 

 

 

While The Gettin’s Good

North Korea recently claimed to have weaponized enough plutonium from spent fuel rods to increase their nuclear arsenal, just one day after telling Washington it wanted direct talks with the United States. President Obama is said to be considering acquiescing to North Korea’s request, believing, as he does, that being nice to our enemies is the height of nuanced diplomacy. Word is the president will shortly announce that Hillary Clinton, the tough Secretary of Deference, will fly to Pyongyang to engage in one to one talks with the deranged dictator of a starving fifth world country, the better to accede to their demands.

 

 

Our President Obama says

The Norks have crossed the line

Since we don’t mind the nukes they have

With that we were just fine

But going forward with fuel rods

And making more nuke stuff

Is causing us to rethink things

And say that that’s enough

We have to take a firmer stand

And lets them really know

That we intend to scowl a bit

And let displeasure show

They want fresh talks with us alone

Or they will weaponize

And make more nukes but as to that

They’ve got to realize

That if our Sec of State appears

In Pyongyang for some talks

We’ve been along that road before

Most often with our hawks

We’re dovish now and so it seems

That North Korea should

Accept our kind surrender now

While the gettin’s good

 

 

A Slip Of The Tongue

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton misspoke the other day in Belfast, Northern Ireland, when she told the assembled politicians at the Stormont that she had stayed at the bomb damaged Europa Hotel when she and Bill were last in Belfast. Just a slip of the tongue from a slip of a girl. It was quickly pointed out that the Europa Hotel had last been bombed two years before she and Bill had checked in. Now we all know memory can be faulty. Sometimes we honestly believe we were in a certain place at a certain time, and even have vivid memories of being there, even though it may not be at all true. Memories are tricky. And if this were the first of her mistaken memories we could overlook it, but it is only one in a long list of misspoken memories. There was the time in Bosnia when she claimed she came under sniper fire when her plane landed. “I remember landing under sniper fire,” she said. “There was supposed to be some kind of greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicle to get to our base.” Alas, newsreels of the event showed her smiling as a little girl handed her a bouquet of flowers as she stepped off the plane. No snipers. But then, memories are tricky. Then there was the time she claimed she had been named for the famous mountain climber Sir Edmund Hillary. The problem was Edmund Hillary did not become famous until 1953 when he became the first man to climb Mt. Everest, and Hillary was born in 1947, six years before anyone had ever heard of Edmund Hillary. Can’t wait for her memoirs.    

 

 

Through shot and shell

She lived to tell

Of her great escape

From sniper blows

And goodness knows

‘Bout every other scrape

From Agincourt

To prairie fort

She’s been there and done that

On Pelelieu

I’m telling you

You’ve got to tip your hat

On landing strips

On foreign trips

She’s taken triple A

An ack-ack gun

Is simply fun

She grins ‘cause she’s okay

Our Sec of State

By God she’s great

She goes where danger gleams

With every breath

She laughs at death

If only in her dreams

 

 

Non-sequitor Of State

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Cuzbuzz has been following Hillary Clinton’s visit to Africa. (Just keep scrolling.) In Kinshasa, the Congo, she flew into a rage at a question about her husband, and in Nigeria she said the 2000 US presidential election was stolen. This is not her first display of incompetence for the job. We all remember her fabulously successful visit to Mexico City early on, when she visited the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe, a major Roman Catholic shrine. The story of the shrine is that in December, 1531, an Aztec convert name Juan Diego was visited on the road by the Virgin Mary and told to build a church on the site. The bishop demanded a miracle to prove his story, and the Virgin Mary caused Spanish roses to bloom. When Juan Diego handed the roses to the bishop, they fell from Diego’s apron, revealing an image of the Virgin Mary on the apron cloth. The cloth with the image is on display and the object of deep veneration. When shown the cloth she asked who painted it, and was told God painted it. She showed her core Bush hating beliefs in Niger, but at least that wasn’t quite as bad as the Russians, who recently concluded a gas agreement with the Nigerian government, promptly named the new company Nigergaz. Hillary Clinton is ignorant and churlish, her recent actions possibly understood as a reaction to her realization that she is Secretary of State in name only, dispatched to completely irrelevant parts of the world while the real work is done by others, further magnified by the realization that she was played by the Obama people in order to get her out of the way for 2012.

 

 

At the Shrine of Guadalupe now

Our Sec of State let out as how

The Virgin’s image was so nicely painted

When told that God had worked the brush

She had the grace to primly blush

Then saw the painter’s name and promptly fainted

It makes you wonder what she’ll do

When faced with other people who

Believe in God and other things she smirks at

She doesn’t seem to have much sense

Of how her act has consequence

For country and department that she works at

She snaps at question ‘bout her hub

Whose glowing press just seemed to rub

Her in the hardest place she had to scratch

She’s sent to places in the past

That State would surely think the last

Darn place on earth the Sec they would dispatch

  So now she’s really in a snit

She knows she’s truly out of it

The president and all his men have shown

That they have made her Sec State queen

To get her off the year 12 scene

And now her presidential chance has blown

 

 

 

Bill And Hill

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Former President Bill Clinton has just been named Special UN Envoy for Haiti. It seems the Clintons will always be with us. We know Bill’s story, and how he got there, but what of Hillary? First Lady, Senator from New York, Secretary of State, none of which would have happened had she not married Bill. The true story of how Bill and Hillary met has not been told, except to me, by an acquaintance from Arkansas, who knew them back in the sweet used to be.

 

 

Young Hill, fresh out of school of law

While driving south for pleasure

Did chance to be in Arkansas

Which she thought was a treasure

She thought she’d stay a little while

But not for long, no, mercy

The backwoods didn’t suit her style

But better than New Jercy

She thought she better get a job

A good one would be dandy

She asked a guy whose shirt said Bob

Who said see Bill or Randy

You’ll find them in old Frank’s Saloon

Most evenin’s after dinner

You’ll know them, Randy’s a balloon

While Bill’s a little thinner

She wondered what they did for funs

In woods so deep, my gracious

And stuffed a pair of tiny guns

Into her bra capacious

Inside she found a lookin’ guy

A-grinnin’ and a-leerin’

He fixed her with his wand’rin eye

So graciously endearin’

She said hello and might by chance

You’re either Bill or Randy

I’m both he laughed and we can dance

To good old boy Moe Bandy

They spun the floor, her head awhirl

They danced the floor so lightly

She thought I’m just a college girl

He’s holding me too tightly

And what is more he is for sure

So absolutely charming

And though I’m just the girl du jour

This feeling is alarming

She knew she had to pry him free

She’d have to try the pistols

She hated how he hummed off key

She didn’t like the whistles

She pulled her guns, said you’re too much

I like my men more strangerous

He grinned, said ah could tell by touch

Them mammalia was derringerous

You weren’t all that scared, she said

Are guns in bras so normal

And with a grin he shook his head

Said not when goin’ formal

He said a gal he sometimes saw

Who every woman hates

She always carried in her bra

A pair of 38s

They fell in love right then and there

To everyone a mystery

They pledged their lives they each would share

The rest, they say, is history