There are those who say that beauty, male and female, gives the possessor of that beauty a head start in the race of life. There are others who say that beauty and intellect are an unbeatable combination, that the possessors of beauty and intellect rule the world. And there are others who subscribe to the theory that beauty, intellect and grace in combination make the possessor godlike. Being possessed from birth of beauty, intellect and grace, I can say that those who say those things are wrong, at least in my case.

 

At birth the nurses squealed my name

At school the girls all swooned

My neighborhood huzzahed my fame

The crowds I drew ballooned

In high school I was head of class

Four touchdowns every game

The heart’s delight of every lass

A hero I became

In college I aced every course

A god’s four letter man

In every game I was a force

Each woman was a fan

I settled down and married well

Bright children, sweet and fair

But deep inside my life was hell

For no one seemed to care

That handsome is as handsome does

Or so the saying goes

Was handsome is as handsome was

In my case as my foes

The guys who envied me my charm

My intellect and grace

Rejoiced as I, now fallowed farm

Had lost my honored place

As handsomest in every room

As brightest of them all

And then to heighten all the gloom

My hair began to fall

As age crept in on silent feet

My paunch began to spread

By end of day now I was beat

And ready for my bed

It’s over now, the women’s cries

And adoration moans

No longer I the golden prize

Reduced to ancient bones

I sit at my computer now

And making matters worse

I spend my days watching the Dow

And writing silly verse