I’m Gonna Sit Right Down And Write Myself A Letter

The past has shown that emails are not secure, no matter how secure the experts try to make them. The government is very good at keeping secrets from us, but very poor in keeping secrets from our enemies. Many years ago the great Fats Waller wrote a song that went, I’m Gonna Sit Right Down And Write Myself A Letter. That’s where we are. Were I elected president of the United States I would immediately issue an executive order that no one in the Executive branch was to use email, that all communication was to be by hand delivered letter where possible, and the US Mail for out of DC. I would strongly urge Congress to pass legislation binding all Congressional employees to comply with these regulations. I would also have all elections by paper ballot. Any Federal employee violating these common sense orders would be doing hard labor throwing voting machines into the nearest river.

I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter
And put it in my desk and lock the drawer
And make those Russkie hackers go one better
And show Assange and Wikileaks the door
Before the war, the big one, the Pacific
We had a Sec of State who used to rail
At Intel guys, and just to be specific
He screamed no gentleman reads others’ mail
That’s where we are now that the lids have blown off
And nothing in the ether is secure
From prying eyes and shortly will be shown off
And do we really want to go to war
Because Gmail and Yahoo, even Outlook
Can’t keep a secret and don’t even try
In fact they do not care and I much doubt took
The simplest measure to deter a spy
But they are not to blame for Clinton’s treason
In putting our top secrets up for grabs
For money, and for her no other reason
Let’s see she ends with prison weight hijabs

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