The Golden Kennel

In 2001 Barack Hussein Obama’s literary agents circulated a bio of their client that claimed he had been born in Kenya. Such bio material is always forwarded to the agencies by the author, so Obama was either born in Kenya, and not Hawaii as he later claimed in a forged birth certificate, or he was born in Hawaii but lied about his birthplace in order to improve his chances of selling his book. I spoke to my Irish setter today and asked him why his AKC registration said he was born in Kenya, and he said it was a misunderstanding, he told them he was born in a kennel and they thought he said Kenya, but didn’t think the error was important, and besides, it gave him a one up on the other guys on the street, and the chicks all thought it was cool. He then recited some doggerel, which I reproduce below.


Yes my dad was from a kennel

And my mom from lines of bitches

So my DNA was mixture

And I hungered for them riches

So I fibbed about my birthplace

‘Cause I thought I could do better

And I told them I’m no mongrel

I’m a gorgeous Irish setter

Well they took me at my word and

After that the good life beckoned

All because my Setter blood line

Was a big one thirty-second

Then he wagged his tail and grinning

Said it really is a marvel

You can be just who you please and

That’s from president to larval

All it takes is just be gutsy

And the goofy left wing doters

Then will turn your rusty kennel

Into gold to fool the voters


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