Way back in 1957 a science fiction magazine called Fantastic Universe published my short story No Bems Allowed, for which I received the munificent sum of a penny a word. A BEM, incidentally, is a Bug Eyed Monster, and the premise of the story, as I recall, was that no alien invasion of Earth could be successful because we had been conditioned by science fiction stories to expect a hero to emerge and save us all. I think this is still true. So long as there are white horses and shining armor there will always be heroes.
The silver ships came drifting down
As silent as the clouds
And landed softly in the fields
Surrounded by the crowds
Of curious who came to see
What it was all about
When suddenly the doors flung wide
Erasing any doubt
That here were monsters in the flesh
Antennaed and bug eyed
Who calmed the crowd with noxious gas
Except for those who tried
To rush the ships and save the world
Defiant unto death
While in the crowd one steel eyed man
Remarked under his breath
That –well you know just how it ends
The hero finds a way
To jam the Bems’ antennae that
Left them with naught to say
And after that he – well you know
With germs or something worse
He left the Bems a rotting heap
Their ships a waiting hearse
Their hyper drive he figured out
And sent the ships back home
A message in their language told
Them never more to roam
This part of Galaxy six eight
Four twenty two N A
For if they did he’d see to it
They’d not live out the day
Your heroes come when they are called
One knows not who they are
Until the day the monsters come
Then Katy bar the door
