Monthly Archives: October 2009

They Made Off With It

Madoff trustee Irving Picard is suing Bernie Madoff’s brother, sons and niece for 198.7 million dollars for using investors’ money as a piggy bank to furnish their lavish lifestyles of million dollar homes, boats, vacations and what-not. The 71 year old Madoff is currently serving a 150 year sentence for running the world’s best and most successful Ponzi scheme, and will be a very old man when he gets out. One wishes Mr. Picard much luck, and wonders if Mr. Picard is related in any way to the estimable Auguste and Jacques Piccard, inventors of the deep sea diving bathyscaphe, because he is going to need some real deep sea diving gear to find that money.  

 

 

To steal from the rich and give to the poor

Is by and large accepted

But Bernie stole it from the rich

And then he went and kept it

So now he’s resting well in jail

A long term lifer inmate

As rich investors weep and wail

Like every other ingrate

Who thought she’d found a real good thing

An honorable investor

Who’d turn her dough to so much bling

She’d think that God had blessed her

So now the Madoff clan is sued

To try to get the money

That to the clannish hands accrued

Like falling leaves to honey

The trustee man we wish him well

He’ll need a deep sea diver

That dough’s so deep a diving bell

Won’t come up with a fiver

 

 

The Iranian Card

Continuing our revelations of yesterday of President Obama’s ultimatum to the Iranian mullahs in their October 1st meeting, Verse-afire has received a copy of the notes taken by the Iranian interpreter, revealing what the president and the mullahs actually agreed to. From the president’s perspective, he had a win-win if he played his cards right. If he allowed the generals to continue the war in Afghanistan as they have proposed despite clamors from his left wing base to close it down, two things are possible, and both are politically helpful. If the war is won, he will get the credit, but if he closes down the war and there is another attack on the United States by Al Qaeda, then he will get the blame. So he must continue the war. The problem is, Afghanistan is landlocked, with the only land corridor to the fighting fronts through Taliban infested Pakistan. What Obama needs, if he is to dramatically increase troop strength, is safe and sure logistics, and that safe and sure route lies through Iran. What happened next was Realpolitick at its finest.

  

 

Obama said to the mullahs if you help me in the Stans

I will look the other way and let you formulate your plans

To rid the world and people of a certain you know who

Just be sure you don’t inform me so I won’t know what you do

The mullahs smiled and said sure Jack just tell us what you want

And O winked back and said he needed something he can flaunt

To show the public back at home he’s really on the stick

I’ve got to give them something big and this will do the trick

The guys I’ve got, the money men, he said with great disdain

Are causing polling numbers to go circling round the drain

So what I need is access to the Afghan seat of war

I need your ports, I need your roads, I need your help much more

Then I could state in simple terms because it’s so complex

And if you give me what I need I think we’ll clear the decks

For you to gain complete control of what you say is yours

And in the process make Israelis grovel on all fours

To grovel them is not our goal the mullahs winked and laughed

No doubt you think us crazy and no doubt you think us daft

But total ’nihilation is what this is all about

We don’t want them to holler and we don’t want them to shout

We want the sons of pigs and dogs in silent heaps to lay

So that is what we want and are you now prepared to pay

Done and done said O as he prepared to board his plane

I don’t know what you’re gonna do but if my numbers gain

You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours and when I leave the room

I’ll know you’ve kept your bargain when I’ve heard that great big BOOM

 

 

A Sternly Worded Ultimatum

After Iran admitted to the UN atomic energy lapdogs that they had indeed been building and using a second secret nuclear enrichment plant, President Obama jumped in and said he had known about it for months, and issued an ultimatum to the mullahs. He said, “Iran’s leaders must now choose – they can live up to their responsibilities and achieve integration with the community of nations, or they will face increased pressure and isolation, and deny opportunity to their own people.” What can we make of this sternly worded ultimatum? The mullahs have already demonstrated they have no interest in achieving integration with the community of nations, have no fear of increased pressure or isolation, and smile at the idea that they might care about denying opportunity to their own people. The president of the United States has in effect given Iran the green light to proceed unimpeded with development of nuclear weapons with which to obliterate Israel and command the Middle East.

 

 

We thank you, Barack

For taking us back

To the great days of Carter of Plains

A man now reviled

As the man who once dialed

Back a full half a century of gains

There are those who believe

That it’s righteous to grieve

For the days of inflation malaise

Which you will soon again

Bring to your countrymen

And which I am the first one to praise

In addition to which

I approve of your switch

From our allies to friends with our foes

Both the Poles and the Czechs

Must do as Putin becks

And Israelis their settlements must close

I most heart’ly applaud

Your near trip abroad

To the UN where Iran was told

That if they persist

In their nukes we’ll insist

That the next time they do it we’ll scold

That’s the way to be firm

Just your tone makes them squirm

Like Jimmy when fighting the rabbit

You’re a lot like James Earl

You fight like a girl

And when seeing a friend near you stab it

 

 

Flyin’ The Ointment

To continue yesterday’s saga of the failed presidential mission to convince the International Olympic Committee to award the 2016 games to Chicago, the liberal glitterati on Air Force One returning from the meeting did not take the news of their defeat at all well. No one conceded that Brazil and Rio de Janeiro had a legitimate claim on the prize. No, they lost because the hated George Bush had poisoned the well of international relations to such an extent that the IOC could not bring themselves to even consider giving the 2016 games to a country that could produce a George W. Bush. And to make matters worse, press accounts indicate the intercom was not functioning well, no doubt the fault of George Bush as well. After all, had he not taken several trips on that very same airplane?

 

 

The intercom on Air Force One

Crackled as they raced the sun

Across the wide Atlantic dimly seen

Assembled Dems and friends of O

Gathered for the blow by blow

Surrounding their Chicago king and queen

Oprah shouted out in glee

That when the whitesheet IOC

Trembled when they heard Obama speak

She knew the game was now in hand

They’d won again and full command

Was clearly in the grasp of all they seek

The crackling voice gave all a scare

They heard the fragment “de Janeir”

And wondered to themselves what did it mean

“It means Bushhitler’s still alive,”

Obama cried, “no mat I strive

To cleanse our country of his rotten name

It’s clear those white folks won’t accept

That black folks run the world except

For the every four year ‘Lympic game”

The saddened libs returned to seats

To mutter oaths and bitter bleats

Still blaming Bush for all that could go wrong

Then music made the big man frown

As Frank sang Chi is my home town

And Obie screamed to shut down that damn song

 

 

Chicago, My Home Town

On the flight back from Copenhagen, returning from an impassioned plea by President Obama to the International Olympic Committee, the distinguished passengers on Air Force One learned with astonishment and disbelief that the president had failed to bring the 2016 Olympic Games to his home town of Chicago. The glittering array of liberal star-power, including Oprah Winfrey, was stunned to hear they had not even made the cut. President Obama, however, put a happy face on the news by relieving himself of all blame, laying the fault at the clay feet of George W. Bush, saying Bush had so alienated the entire world that they were still taking it out on the United States, despite he, Barack, having striven mightily over the past nine months to repair the damage, all to no avail, so deep and black were the sins of the Bush administration toward the rest of the world. This explanation of his failure was of great comfort to his fellow travelers, but calmer heads knew the real reason: he had offered the International Olympic Committee his smile and charm, but they wanted cash.  

 

 

He promised them Lake Michigan

Threw in Milwaukee too

He said they need but wish again

He’d see what he could do

About O’Hare and Wrigley Field

They’d have it if they cared

He was prepared to quickly yield

If lists were just prepared

That stated what the IOC

Would take to give the games

To his home town he’d pay the fee

All for Olympic flames

They told him money was the price

Not lakes or baseball yards

They told him once they told him twice

It wasn’t in the cards

Cash on the barrelhead is king

They said with knowing smiles

You’ve come to us without a thing

But politicians’ wiles

Fine speeches won’t advance the day

That we accept your bid

It’s pay to play Chicago way

In back rooms so it’s hid

They told him if he got the dough

They’d see if he could play

And meet at a garage they know

On next St. Valentine’s Day

 

 

The Way To Dusty Death

Richard Fernandez, at the Belmont Club, writes of the Obama administration’s failed policy in Iran in terms of Shakespeare. He wonders which Shakespeare we will get when it becomes painfully obvious, even to the Obama administration, that the policy of appeasement and engagement has failed, and Iran is on the verge of becoming a nuclear power intent on destroying Israel and commanding obeisance from her neighbors. Will it be the Shakespeare of Julius Caesar?

 

There is a tide in the affairs of men

Which, taken at the flood, lead on to fortune;

Omitted, all the voyage of their life

Is bound in shallows and in miseries;

On such a full sea are we now afloat

And we must take the current when it serves

Or lose our ventures.

 

Or MacBeth?

 

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day

To the last syllable of recorded time

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death

 

Which will it be? To stand firm in the face of Iranian aggression or meekly submit, telling ourselves it will all work out in the end? Caesar or MacBeth?

 

 

Out damn spot! he cried in rage

And kicked the dogcan down the road

He reckoned not the Stratford sage

Had long ago those words bestrode

How had he failed, this wondrous tongue?

Had he not the beaming smile?

Had he not the welkin rung

With words that sang to God the while

He humbly asked for guidance from

Assembled potentates from lands

That altogether made the sum

Of feudal tribes and wand’ring bands?

True I talk of idle dreams

Which are the children of an idle brain

Begot of nothing but vain fantasy

And yet I hear the muted screams

Of those who are beset by pain

Who look to me to bring some sanity

To this cruel world of sticks and stones

And hidden meanings in their eyes

It may be that no man atones

For pain with wringing hands and sighs

We shall not stay our hand or will

We shall prevail and save the world

From all who wish us well or ill

We’ll leave no oyster yet unpearled

Adrift my policy doth swell

That I could change it with a wand

They say I love myself too well

In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond

 

 

A Four Letter Man

A few nights ago David Letterman admitted, on air, to having sex with female staffers, after receiving an extortion note from a CBS executive demanding 2 million dollars or he would tell the whole sordid story to a breathlessly awaiting world. Dave played the whole thing for laughs and it wasn’t until he fully explained what was going on that the audience realized it wasn’t a skit. At which point they laughed and applauded. The extortionist has been arrested and pleaded not guilty to having sex with Dave’s staffers.

 

 

Admitting to sex with his staffers

Our Davey says it was just laughers

Because I’m the boss

It’s me or job loss

And if not me than one of the gaffers

 

When story broke Dave took confessing

To new heights when he said that messing

With dames in employ

Made him naughty boy

And asked for the audience blessing

 

The people did cheer and applaud

Dave’s actions they clearly did laud

Now here’s my belief

It was all in relief

That Dave slept with Claudine not Claude

 

 

Cartooniverse

The Obama administration, through the Environmental Protection Agency, is partnering with the Parent Teachers Organization to launch a 6,000 school tour to teach kids about global warming and energy efficiency. The very thought of such a thing is staggering. What is the purpose of this? Obama Jugend? We’ve all seen the pictures of those little kids in Burlington, NJ singing “I love Barack Hussein Obama, mmm mmm mmm.” The perpetrators of this outrage speak smugly of it being a teaching moment. How about teaching them there is no such thing as man-made global warming, that the data was fudged, rigged to get the desired result, and that the earth a thousand years ago was much, much warmer than it is now, and this before the only harmful thing put into the atmosphere was an occasional cow fart. Why not teach them that for true energy efficiency we need nuclear electricity generating plants, something the lefties who scream for energy efficiency are steadfastly against. Why not tell the kids UFOs are real, or leprechauns lurk at the bottom of the garden? Why not teach the kids something that’s true, like honor thy father and thy mother and that the United States is a fair and decent country? For that matter, why doesn’t the president stop apologizing for the supposed sins of the United States, why doesn’t he stop betraying our friends and smiling at our enemies? The more I see and hear of the current administration the more I am convinced we live not in a rational universe but in a cartooniverse.  

 

 

When I see pictures from the Hubble

I oft times think I’m seeing double

Though clearly what I see’s our universe

Yet when I hear Obama say

Just blame it on the USA

I know we’re now in a cartooniverse

The stars that once were so aligned

And galaxies that God designed

Now seem to be awry and much displaced

The constellations come undone

With every word the mighty One

Delivers for the country he’s disgraced

He tells the UN that our past

Was wrong and he’ll see that at last

The US stops its harsh and brutal ways

And joins the peaceful countries that

Rule not by laws but by fiat

And that the world will then see better days

He’s sold Israeli people out

It’s Arab wants he cares about

He’s cut missile defense and Air Force planes

He wants the US cut to size

He wants us just like other guys

He says we’re just the same as Paks or Danes

He’s taken o’er the banks and cars

And set us up for rule by czars

And wants to bury health care for us now

Yes Hubble shows a different world

Where space is stretched and time is curled

And we’re in constellation Holy Cow

 

 

 

I Just Can’t Take It Anymore

We’ve all heard by now of Muammar Khadafy’s rambling and incoherent speech the other day to the United Nations General Assembly, a speech so full of inconsistencies and insane fantasies that Khadafy’s personal interpreter, brought to New York for the express purpose of relaying the Khadafy wisdom to the world, collapsed into incoherence himself after 75 minutes and screamed in Arabic into an open mike, “I just can’t take it any more!” One feels sorry for the poor man, and one wonders also what is going to become of him. Knowing how mercurial and easily offended Khadafy is, I sure hope this little lapse doesn’t cost him, his camels and goats and the rest of his extended family their lives.    

 

 

He said nothing could be scarier

Than tangled in the barrier

Of M. Khadafy’s language soaring on

For hours at a time when pinned

By syntax blowing in the wind

And lies and accusations boring on

I sympathize with this man’s plight

And hope that things will turn out right

And he and all his family survive

His honest and distress filled gaffe

The one that made Khadafy laugh

When crying into microphone alive

He couldn’t take it any more

And thus we wonder what’s in store

For such a man who made his master blush

I have the sense to his surprise

The man has hastened his demise

As M. Khadafy whispered there’s no rush

The car will be here in a trice

A little ride for you’d be nice

And you can think of me as you lament

Your outburst on this UN stage

That caused me to misplace my page

And say a few things that I never meant

Goodbye old friend you’ve served me well

But if you’re weak just for a spell

I fear that your employment’s at an end

I hate to do what I must do

The scimitar will strike well true

And as you go please think of me as friend

 

 

Victory Or Debt

The New York Times reports on the struggle between the White House and the General commanding in Afghanistan, Stanley McChrystal, over Afghan war policy. Some months ago President Obama fired General David McKiernan and appointed General McChrystal to win the war candidate Obama said was the good war, the war we should have been fighting instead of the bad war, Iraq. But now the president is having second thoughts about the goodness of the Afghan war, and looks to be getting ready to pull the plug. General McChrystal, in the meantime, has submitted a plan for winning the war, and has said he will resign if the president decides he does not want victory in Afghanistan. And since the president has saddled the taxpayers with massive trillions of dollars of debt into the long foreseeable future, it looks like the president has called for victory or debt, and has chosen debt, with or without honor.

 

 

General McChrystal will turn in his pistol

If Barack Obama won’t show

His Afghan intention and may we just mention

His attitude toward Qaeda foe

He said on the stump into Afghan he’d jump

And throw old bin Laden in chains

But now he’s as dubious as Varro and Publius

When told Hannibal’d made no gains

He’s thinking it over is Barack the rover

Who thinks he’s an eagle on high

But deep in the clover lies Barack the plover

Not sure which decision to buy

The problem with Afghan for Barack is he can

Not see where the politics lies

He’s afraid of his Left and so now he’s bereft

Of all but soft whimpers and sighs