Category Archives: Verse

Miranda Rights

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We’re all getting a little bloody minded, and with reason. Muslim terrorists continue to kill people every day, whether a young US soldier at a recruiting station in the United States or staging a slaughter in Mumbai, India, and have just blown up a hotel in Peshawar, Pakistan, killing many innocent civilians. We hear now that the Obama administration has decided to read captured terrorist killers their Miranda rights, telling them they have a right to remain silent and that we will provide them a lawyer if they cannot afford one. Of course, Mr. Holder’s Justice Department is deeply concerned with the rights of terrorist killers. You may recall it was not so many years ago that Mr. Holder released many Puerto Rican terrorists in order to gain votes for Hillary Clinton’s run for the Senate from New York, so Mr. Holder’s views on terrorism are well known. Still, there is a way to get the job done properly while still reading the killers their Miranda rights. These terrorists are not afraid of death, they willingly and happily blow themselves up, believing they will be instantly in Paradise with 72 beautiful virgins, but there is one thing that terrifies them, and that is to be buried wrapped in a pig skin, for that would send them straight to hell. I propose, therefore, that we read them not their Miranda rights, but their Oscar Mayer rights. Wrap them in bacon, shoot them, and then read them their Miranda rights.

 

 

The Justice Department is quakin’

In fear that our soldiers be takin’

It into their head

To fill them with lead

Before their Mirandas be makin’

 

I like the idea of bacon

The thought has the jihadists shakin’

Let’s not wait till they’re dead

Grab the bastards instead

Shove the stuff up their ass while they’re wakin’

 

While a plea for his life he is makin’

Just grin with a little head shakin’

Then a shot to his head

Put the bastard to bed

And another in case he is fakin’

 

Mr. Holder says steps will be takin’

To prevent such a vile undertakin’

But our guys know that they

Are the ones who will pay

For the folly that Justice is makin’

 

 

 

Capitalism: Ave Atque Vale

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It was announced Tuesday that Chrysler is out of bankruptcy. The deal, as dictated by the Obama administration, calls for the Italian carmaker Fiat to own 35% of Chrysler, the United Auto Workers union 55%, and the US and Canadian governments 10%. Is the forced deal constitutional? No. Does it matter? No. I have never seen, nor did I ever expect to see, a president of the United States so openly and brazenly throw aside the law in order to reward his UAW friends, both with Chrysler and General Motors. Bankruptcy law is settled law, the law of the land, but that did not deter the Obama administration from telling the first creditors, the Chrysler bond holders, that contrary to law the UAW union would get first dibs and the bond holders would take what the president said they would take, which was 29 cents on the dollar. When the bond holders complained they were threatened, so they took it, figuring if they didn’t they would get nothing. Can you imagine the screams of outrage and calls for impeachment had George W. Bush done that? Yet the media is silent, complicit in the unlawful actions of the one they adore.

 

The UAW put up no money but got 55% of the new Chrysler/Fiat corporation by agreeing to pick up the legacy benefits and health care costs of the workers. Fiat got 45% of the new Chrysler/Fiat corporation by agreeing to give Chrysler its technology in small cars and small engines, a combination the American buying public has consistently said it does not want and will not buy. Fiat has an even lower score in customer satisfaction than Chrysler. Has anyone on this side of the Atlantic ever bought a Fiat? So after the forced Obama Chrysler bankruptcy, the two principal owners of the new Chrysler put up not one red cent for 90% of the company, and the American taxpayer, who put up billions in loans and outright gifts, gets to share the remaining 10% with Canada. Now we know why President Obama is always smiling; it’s two down and Ford to go. All of which raises the question: Is what Obama has done to General Motors and Chrysler, and what he has done to the economy by putting the country in debt to the tune of trillions of dollars a year into the foreseeable future, incompetence or design?  

 

 

Walter Chrysler built his cars

With care and keen attention

To see that style and detail mars

Got hardly any mention

Until that is the union halls

Took over car production

With worker rights and work rule calls

And quality reduction

But times were fat so no one cared

That wages were a-soaring

And no one in his right mind dared

To think of underscoring

The risks of competition from

The Japanese and Germans

Get beat? they smiled, they’re just too dumb

Those Takeos and Hermans

Now Walter Chrysler is no more

No more is General Motors

The president chalked up the score

And charged it to the voters

Then put in charge one of his czars

A man who said he doesn’t

Know a thing ‘bout building cars

But criticize we mustn’t

We have to ask, what does this mean

Why all this rearranging

The socialists are on the scene

Our country they are changing

It’s ave atque vale tears

It’s hello and goodbye

To all we knew, now still your fears

We have in charge a guy

Who takes us down that frightful path

To ruin and decay

Just look at it, just do the math

We’re soon at judgment day

Hail and farewell to all we knew

They work while we all dally

Ring out the old, ring in the new

It’s ave atque vale

 

 

Money! Money! Money!

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President Obama has outlined his strategy for gracefully ending the black mood of depression his presidency has plunged the country into without admitting he had anything to do with it. “It’s like we do in Chicago,” Rahm Emanuel said. “Money cures everything, and it will cure this. When things look darkest, that is when we in Chicago shine, for in the dark is when we are most graceful. The President has informed the Treasury that the printing presses will melt if need be, for he is determined to see everyone in this country has an organically grown chicken in every pot and a plug-in hybrid car in every garage.” Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, at an informal press conference with several radical Muslim groups, laughed at the suggestion that the United States was abandoning its principles. “This Administration,” Mr. Gibbs quipped, “will never abandon its principals. Get it?  Principals. With an “a”. Or its teachers, either. What’s with you guys? I know you’re laughing, I can see your beards move.”

 

But it isn’t funny. The money spent so far is so mind bogglingly staggering, that I wonder if there was ever any real money involved at all. A thousand years ago the Chinese invented paper money. The notes were actually printed on silk, but the effect was the same. Money was no longer something valuable in itself, like a gold or silver coin, but a promissory note that said when presented to the proper authority it would be redeemed for the value stated on its face. The Chinese had invented the illusion of money, and nothing’s been the same since.

 

 

It isn’t paranoid to say

That what we see’s disturbing

When markets start to act this way

It means something’s perturbing

The way free markets operate

When all is hokey dokey

But when the pols don’t play it straight

They should be in the pokey

They’re not, of course, and I should state

The tycoon money lenders

And others who facilitate

The Congress’s big spenders

Should join the crooks in durance vile

Their names be changed to numbers

But that will only happen while

We’re dreaming in our slumbers

The Congress votes a pork fed bill

Without a thought or worry

Most people didn’t care, but still

Some wondered what’s the hurry

I think the Congress knew full well

That what they did was harmful

They gave to friends, but what the hell

Who took it by the armful

But here’s the problem, if we look

It really wasn’t euros

But just some numbers in a book

A-sitting in some bureaus

Until somewhere someplace some time

Someone needs some Jacksons

And writes a check or drops a dime

And initiates some actions

And somewhere a computer coughs

And numbers change direction

And offs are ons and ons are offs

In infinite collection

The point is no one ever sees

The actual pound or dollar

They might as well be wind in trees

A-blowing down a holler

There never was no dough to keep

It’s all a sham and mirrors

For some of us are just the sheep

While others are the shearers

 

 

Muslim Inventions

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In his speech in Cairo the other day, President Obama proudly proclaimed the Muslims invented the compass, printing, algebra, and the university. None of this is true. Europeans invented the university, the Chinese invented printing and the magnetic compass, and the Hindus of northern India invented algebra and the system of mathematics we use today, including the so-called Arabic numbers. Why do we call them Arabic numbers? Because when the Arabs conquered northern India they brought the mathematical systems invented by the Hindus back home with them. So I guess that’s something. They at least recognized the Hindu math was better than what they were using. What other wonders did this marvelous civilization invent? Why, according to the American left, just about everything.

 

Wilbur and Orville, two Bedouin chaps

Believed that if Allah so willed

They could make a machine that would fly them, perhaps

Though they knew there’s a chance they’d be killed

No matter the risk, no matter the peril

For Allah they’d do what it took

They flew a straight line, they flew in a curl

Then told all the world in a book

In Cairo a smart man, al-Bert was his name

Said gravity bends passing light

Then took off for Princeton and cashed in his fame

When Allah proved that he was right

A young man named Henry, while dining as planned

In the town of as-Sembly on kine

Threw a bone to a dog, drawing marks in the sand

And created the as-Sembly line

And thus so it went, and thus so it goes

That Muslims created it all

From fire to atoms, from heads to our toes

We owe it to them to recall

That without the great Arab advances to date

The world would indeed be so poor

That we’d witness the famine and terrible state

Of the masses lay crushed at our door

All hail to the Arabs, those masters of art

And science and math and the lot

Who sit in the sand by their fire and fart

Eating goat from the communal pot

 

 

Men Of Steel

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D-Day, the sixth of June, has passed quietly in the West. Too quietly. We tend not to notice these ancient reminders of past glories these days. Our attention is fixed not on survival, but on other, more important, things. The men who went ashore that day, onto a hostile beach, onto a hostile continent, are far removed from us in time and space, for they knew who they were, they knew what they were fighting for, and more importantly, they knew what they were fighting for was important. Not so today, when far too many of us here in the West believe nothing is worth fighting for, that there is no difference between us and the people who are trying to kill us, no difference between people who kill little girls and cut off heads before the camera and a society that poured water up the noses of three terrorists in order to forestall further attack. We have lost our way, lost our nerve, lost our souls, and before long we will have lost our country.

 

 

The Western world is dead and gone

And with it any sense

Of waking to a peaceful dawn

Of striking warlike tents

The Taliban, those bearded men

So brave when beating girls

Have dazzled our fair left again

Who love their glistening curls

The North Koreans built their bomb

Without a word from us

We greeted it with rare aplomb

And counted it a plus

That Mr. Kim agreed to take

More money and more oil

When he agreed no nukes to make

 And wrapped us in his coil

Iran will shortly have the means

To kill six million Jews

While we put out behind the scenes

That really isn’t news

Where once men fought for home and hearth

Now men fight not at all

For cultures that have lost their worth

Where duty does not call

Where have they gone, our men of steel?

Who saw things rearranged?

It isn’t they who seem unreal

It’s only us who’ve changed

 

 

Obama Beach

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On June sixth, the anniversary of the D-Day landings, Gordon Brown, Prime Minister of Great Britain, gave a speech during the ceremonies at Omaha Beach, scene of great courage and carnage that fateful day in 1944, and called it Obama beach. There are those who believe the reference to be a slip of the tongue, easily made. There is, after all, little difference between Omaha and Obama. And to the mind of Gordon Brown, there is little difference between what was accomplished that day in 1944 and what the anointed one has accomplished sixty-five years later. Gordon Brown is a believer in the magic of Barack Obama, and what better way to acknowledge that magic than to re-name this hallowed beach in memory of the greatest president the United States has ever had or ever will have.

 

 

To those who think ‘twas but a gaffe

I bid you think again, sir

Brown did not do it for a laugh

He did it for the men, sir

Who came ashore that fateful morn

And stumbled up the shingle

And raced across the bullet torn

Cruel beach, their nerves a-tingle

With just one thought upon their minds

To do this for Obama

A man they knew had future binds

To cure their country’s trauma

Of self-inflicted anomie

Beset with doubt and worry

So with a smart economy

They ran as in a hurry

To hasten and prepare the way

For the one blessed by the gods

Who’d take the reins on one fair day

Despite tremendous odds

And lead us all to heaven’s gate

The land of milk and honey

Of course we’ll have a while to wait

‘Cause he’s spent all of our money

 

 

Cooling Towers

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In his suck-up to the Muslim world Thursday, President Obama stated Iran was entitled to generate electricity through nuclear power. But he knows and we know the Iranian nuclear program has nothing to do with generating electrical power, but with generating military power, namely the power to destroy Israel, an eventuality President Obama is apparently comfortable with. When Ahmadinejad smiles and says they are only building cooling towers, the cooling towers he has in mind are the burnt out skyscrapers of Tel-Aviv. Yet it is Israel President Obama is putting pressure on, not Iran. When the Iranian mullahs get that nuke, when they obliterate Israel, when another six million Jews die in a second holocaust, President Obama will have some reflecting to do, reflecting that may go something like this:

 

 

Iran has nukes, what’s that you say?

I really can’t believe that they

Would do a thing like that behind our backs

I’ve trusted them to tell the truth

About their nuclear plans, forsooth

And for my pains took lots of dirty cracks

From awful people on the right

Who seem to think it’s time to fight

The peaceful mullahs and their lawful plans

To generate some AC power

By building a nice cooling tower

And sending juice out to the desert clans

I see no harm in such a scheme

I say let them fulfill their dream

Of climbing to the modern world with us

I am aware what they’ve been saying

That soon Israelis will be paying

For all the times they’ve hit us with the bus

But when friend Ahmadinejad

Promised I his word had had

I knew my charm and smile had won the day

So what if Haifa is no more

And Tel Aviv a burning sore

The important thing is peace is on the way

 

 

He Went Thataway

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Congressman Charley Rangle, D-NY, was in the news recently, half-jokingly advising President Obama not to come to Harlem without proper ID, since to do so might lead him to being shot by a white cop, Obama being, you know, black. Charley Rangle has always, to my mind, been one of the good guys, not a hater like some of his Democrat colleagues, but more interested in the perks associated with being a powerful politician. You may recall a few months ago Charley was found to be a tax cheat, like so many Democrats, and explained his failure to pay his taxes on his being unable to understand the tax code, which is mildly humorous, since Congressman Rangel chairs the powerful House committee that writes the tax rules for the rest of us. You might think being found to be a tax cheat would cause someone shame, might cause that someone to feel he could not show his face again in polite society, but you would be wrong about that, at least as it applies to Charley Rangel. He has no trouble riding into town, even though he knows the sheriff has a Wanted poster in his office with Charley’s picture on it, and words TAX CHEAT in big, black letters.

 

 

The sheriff moseyed up the street

Boots kicking up the sand

The Wanted poster of the cheat

Gripped firmly in his hand

He’d seen that face ride into town

And head for the saloon

A smiling face, a tiny frown

The time was just high noon

A-past the swinging doors he strode

His six-gun at his hip

A-past the horse the stranger rode

Still sweaty from the trip

He saw his quarry in the dark

A-standin’ at the bar

His voice commanded in a bark

Just stand right where you are!

I’ve come here to arrest you, sir

For cheating on your taxes

You’ll spend a goodly time in stir

Depending what the max is

The man looked up and smiled a smile

Said you know who I am?

It’s well for you I do not rile

Or you’d be in a jam

For I’m beloved Congressman

Chuck Rangle from New York

And I’m the guy who writes the plan

For guys like you who work

Must follow under pain of law

The penalties are clear

No matter how quick is your draw

You’ll serve at least a year

But none of this applies to me

Because, son, I’m your better

So you can not arrest me, see

But you can write me a letter

With that he put his shot glass down

And climbed upon his horsey

And headed north for New York town

Though he’d have to cross New Jorsey

 

 

On Bended Knee

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President Obama’s speech today in Cairo will focus upon three things: Obama’s Muslim upbringing; America’s historical enmity toward Islam; and the Jews. I cannot predict he will be able to hold himself in check and not again bow before an Arab king, but I can confidently predict he will blame the United States for all the troubles of the world, and ask forgiveness. In fact, these are not predictions, but certainties, for I have come into possession, I shall not say how, of an advance copy of President Obama’s speech. Curiously, it rhymes.

 

 

O land of Ra! O land of ancient stones!

We come to beg forgiveness for our sins

We hope our being here somewhat atones

For all we’ve done to loose the awful djinns

That’ve harmed you and your children all your life

Like medicine and science and our cash

Those awful things that lead to constant strife

And turn the flame of life to cindered ash

We beg of you to please not turn away

We need your guidance and your counsel now

On bended knee I plead with you this day

To teach us Allah’s way and your know how

For only when we’ve turned our faith to yours

Will God’s work here on Earth be truly won

And highest form of art are pyramid tours

And all bow down to Ra the god of sun

O land of Ra! The pharaohs’ gracious land!

Thy glories down the ages ring in ears

Together we must travel hand in hand

To spread Islamic kindness through the years

I’ve come today to ask you pretty please

To think not ill of us here by your side

I’m sure my words have put you at your ease

By saying West Bank Jews we can’t abide

The land of Palestine is truly yours

The Jews so long ago had moved away

They’re back and must be put down on all fours

The entity sha’nt live another day

There’s work to do before we say goodbyes

Israeli force and terror must be o’er

Hamas and Hezbollah are just good guys

Who want their place on earth however poor

Hold hands with us the people of the West

And help us understand the Muslim mind

Your truthfulness and kindness are the best

In Islam you will find no other kind

In parting I will leave you with one thought

You have a friend in DC and it’s me

You’ve heard I’m sure the US can be bought

But save your dough, I’m giving it for free

 

 

Down The Loo

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Monday, the first of June, 2009, is a date that very well might be remembered for some time, for it is the date the United States ceased being a capitalist economy. The forced bankruptcy of Chrysler by the Federal government and the threats to Chrysler bondholders were the start, but the forced GM bankruptcy under terms favorable to the United Auto Workers union is far more troubling. The Federal government, under the leadership of President Barack Obama, has moved the country down the road to socialism, and not by just a little bit. The Federal government now owns 60% of General Motors, having bought the company with taxpayer money, in the process giving the United Auto Workers everything they wanted, everything they ever dreamed of getting. The UAW now owns 7.5% of whatever is left of GM, 800,000 retired UAW workers will continue to have all their health care and pension costs paid for, and the Obama administration has agreed to ban the sale in the US of all foreign cars not made in the United States. The man President Obama placed in charge of overseeing the GM bankruptcy is a 31 year old who has never held a job in the private sector, knows nothing about automobiles or finance, but who has the only qualification necessary – he’s a left wing Democrat activist, having worked previously for George Soros. Hugo Chavez, the Venezuelan nutcase, has said the next book he’s going to give Obama is Lenin’s What Is To Be Done. That will make two copies in the Obama family library.

 

 

How do I love thee, let me count the ways,

Are the opening words of Liz to her sweet love

But How did I lose thee, after just one hundred days

Are words we cry beseeching God above

To turn the glass, reverse the sand

Don’t let the country slide to the abyss

Give us the strength to make a stand

And save us from Obama’s deadly kiss

Who are they who gave us such

A radical as ever wore the cloak

Of hope and change who promised oh so much

And turned around to be the cruelest joke

The laugh’s on us who thought that we

Were safe from all those leftist twists and turns

We thought that there could never be

A day we’d sit and watch as country burns

One hundred days is all it took

To nationalize the banks and autos too

The plan, my friends, is quite an open book

He plans to flush the country down the loo