Category Archives: Verse

The Four Trillion Faces Of Bonny Fwank

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Barney Frank is always an easy target. Just the other day it was reported that H.R. 4173, The Wall Street Reform And Consumer Protection Act, sponsored by Financial Services committee chairman Barney Frank, which was passed by the House this past December, calls for the Federal Reserve to make available four trillion dollars to major banks in the event of another Wall Street crash. But Barney doesn’t stop there. Among other provisions of the bill is the requirement that more than a dozen Federal agencies create a new position called “Director of Minority and Women Inclusion”. Barney is apparently under the impression that not enough women and minorities work for the federal government. I talked this over with a five year old I know and she said, “I love Barney.”

 

 

She said if I were a designer kid

I’d want Barney for a daddy

I’d love him for the things he did

Though some say he’s a baddy

So what he’s played the Congress game

‘Cause so do many others

What ever he’s done it’s just the same

As his Congressional brothers

I love him for his winning smile

I love him for his color

You can see purple for a mile

It never gets no duller

 

When I pointed out we weren’t talking about Barney the purple dinosaur but Barney the congressperson, a man who wants to help President Obama turn the country into a socialist paradise, a man who somehow forgot to declare all his income come tax time, a man who never saw a socialist program he didn’t like, she thought a moment before replying.

 

She said they’re just like robbers who

Just want to steal our freedom

There is no difference ‘tween the two

Just tweedledee and deedum

I like my country like it is

Why do they have to change it

They want to take away the fizz

And really re-arrange it

You say that Barney’s not a star?

He’s not what people think?

He’s not a purple dinosaur

He looks so cute in pink?

Well just for that I take it back

We’ll fit him for some nooses

If I’da known he’s just a hack

From lib’ral Massachoosses

 

Moral: You can fool some of the people all of the time, you can fool all of the people some of the time, but you can only fool a five year old once.

 

 

 

Against The Law

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France’s Constitutional Council, which ensures the constitutionality of French law, has ruled the carbon tax proposed by the Sarkozy government to combat the non-existent climate change is unconstitutional. Not that that will be the last word. The unelected bureaucrats in Brussels care nothing for French courts or French Constitutional Councils, and it is widely understood that Brussels will shortly rule the French Constitutional Council unconstitutional and restore the carbon tax, the better to punish French industry and French workers for the benefit of non-working foreigners. It is all part of the radical left global environmentalist movement that aims to destroy the west and its society in order to remove the current political leadership and replace it with themselves. And so far it’s working.  

 

 

The carbon tax against the law?

The law then must be changed

The object is to bleed them raw

So things must be arranged

So that the folks are bled to death

So that the earth may live

And taxing every exhaled breath

Is what they have to give

We greenies know what must be done

We know what’s good for all

We know that warmth comes from the sun

As Winter follows Fall

We know the warming scare’s a laugh

We smile at carbon tax

That’s how we write the epitaph

And then the Euro Pax

 

 

The Bomber Will Always Get Through

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In the 1930s it was an article of faith among elected officials that the bomber would always get through, that the cities of the democracies would be destroyed, with horrific civilian casualties, by the Heinkels, Junkers and Dorniers of the Luftwaffe. There was good reason for this feeling, because it was true, the bombers of the day being faster than the fighters then in service. Radar changed the equation, and while the bomber still always got through, not many got home again. Now we have a different kind of bomber, fighting a different kind of war, and airport security, unlike radar, seems incapable of detecting this new bomber, at least in the politically correct way we currently practice it. An Israeli airport security expert once observed that the United States does not have a security system, it has a system for bothering people. So the bomber will always get through. 

 

 

Heinkels and Junkers

Drove people to bunkers

The bomber would always get through

But radar and Spits

Took care of the blitz

And now we have something that’s new

The bomber still flies

Still the queen of the skies

But the bomber’s now flying in coach

With a bomb in his pants

That won’t warrant a glance

Till he’s making the runway approach

They will use any means

To defeat airport screens

They’re determined to kill me and you

And they’ll smile as they die

As the plane leaves the sky

Yes the bomber will always get through

 

 

Not Serious

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President Obama and the Democrats do not believe we are at war. Iran declared war on us in 1979 when they captured the US embassy in Teheran and held our diplomats captive for 444 days. Radical Islam has been at war with us for more than three decades, blowing up airplanes, bombing barracks, killing Americans worldwide, yet nothing disturbs the tranquility of those who choose not to see. Three recent events show how unserious we are: a suicide bomber walked into an outpost in Afghanistan and killed a roomful of CIA agents; a Muslim United States army officer killed eleven unarmed infidel soldiers inside Fort Hood; and a suicide bomber got on an airplane and almost succeeded in blowing it up. Muslims are at war with us, and they know it and act accordingly; we deny we are at war and act accordingly. The Northwest Airlines would-be bomber boasted of hundreds of guys just like him preparing to give their lives for Allah, and yet the Obama administration treats him as they would a common criminal, turning him over to the civilian justice system where he is now lawyered up and not talking. Nothing will change until some catastrophe, like a Mumbai-style attack on a mid-town NYC luxury hotel, or a Beslan style attack on an elementary school, and even then I expect a great many liberal Democrats to blame us for provoking the religion of peace. We are terror-stricken at the thought of touching a murdering terrorist’s Koran without rubber gloves for fear of being accused of insensitivity. The insanity will end only with the deaths of thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands, of Americans, and the deaths of millions of Muslims. And in the not too distant future.

 

 

The presidential jihad thrust

Is that civilian courts

Are where we place our binding trust

And where we show our warts

For warts and all is what we are

Free people with a heart

So we’re prepared to go real far

To show we do our part

To keep civility alive

And thus not waterboard

No matter that we won’t survive

It’s war that we’ve abjured

 

 

Predictions For 2010

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Having peered into a magic crystal ball and having dealt hundreds of hands of tarot cards, the swamis at verse-afire offer their predictions for the coming year. It cannot be too often stressed that you are cautioned not to bet the rent money on any of it.

 

 

The coming months will see the flames

Of many men and many names

As White House men and White House girls

Are swept aside in ‘Bama swirls

 

Chicago gals, Chicago guys

Will only see their fortunes rise

As ‘Bama hunkers down inside

The White House on his downward ride

 

The winter with its cold and snow

Will cause the global warmists woe

As temperatures go in decline

But Mr. Gore will do just fine

 

The Persians will before year’s out

See a bomb without a doubt

But it won’t be what they have nursed

As Israel will get there first

 

The New York Times on their page one

Will show a picture of the sun

And claim the picture clearly shows

That there will never be more snows

 

An angry mob will storm the gates

As White House staffers fill the crates

With all two hundred years and more

Of history and close that door

 

In 2010 men will unearth

Clear proof that one Obama’s birth

Was not the same as B. Hussein’s

And were arrested for their pains

 

The Eagles defense will not bend

But still their season’s at an end

As Donovan and good Trent Cole

Will once more miss the Super Bowl

 

The Phillies play good ball and beat

The Yankees when next time they meet

In the World Series 2010

And after that they’ll win again

 

 

Watch Your Steppe

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Ten years ago the Global Warming scam would have succeeded, because there was no way ordinary people could get past the media gatekeepers to question the received wisdom. But now there is. Ordinary people have no need of the media, they have the Internet, which some have described as akin to the Golden Horde of Genghis Khan, irresistible, flowing over the steppes like the rolling sea, carrying all before it. The first to feel the wrath of Khan was Dan Rather, who, you may remember, waved a stack of fake documents at the camera a few days before the 2004 presidential election, serene in the knowledge that no one could find him out in time to prevent the defeat of a sitting president, the hated George W. Bush. But there were some guys who knew a few things about fonts and such and soon the Internet pronounced the documents fakes. Abraham Lincoln famously said, You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time. Abe was right, but that was before the Internet. Today you can’t fool anybody for long.   

 

 

The Lefties now must watch their steppe

As hordes of geeks and nerds

Full of vim and full of pep

Drive their pony herds

At full speed toward the EU types

Who yearn to fence us in

By using frauds and scams and hypes

To quell the rising din

The horsetail banner rides again

We’ve taken up the sword

The Internet has raised up men

A newborn Golden Horde

 

 

Grabbing Some Sky

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It has been revealed that Iran has provided to terrorists in Iraq and Afghanistan a handy and inexpensive device called a SkyGrabber, and trained them in its use. SkyGrabber can download pictures from American drones, thereby allowing terrorists to track the drones as the drones fly around tracking them. In theory this will enable Commander Ahmed to see his house on his laptop and thereby know a drone has him in its sights. There has been much wringing of hands over this revelation, with cries for investigations and screams that the drones should not broadcast in the clear. This misses the point. If Ahmed decides to stay in his house, he dies in his house. If he jumps in his car and runs for it, he dies in his car. 

 

 

A drone’s a bee that has no sting

And gathers him no honey

Or parasite who knows one thing

Like spending others’ money

Now sound can be a kind of drone

Like buzzing or like humming

Or talking in a dull like moan

Or fixed incessant drumming

Another drone, like bees, can fly

Much higher though, and stealthy

They fly in loops around the sky

And if you’re seen? Not healthy

The terrorist’s a stingless drone

A parasite who’s humming

And just because he taps our phone

He won’t know when it’s coming

 

 

Homeland Insecurity

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A Nigerian Muslim boarded a Northwest jet in Amsterdam with explosives in his underwear, evading the airport screeners, and managed to set the bomb off as the plane approached Detroit. The bomb fizzled, causing only a small fire, and a Dutch passenger jumped on the terrorist and held him till other passengers subdued him. When asked about the incident, Janet Napolitano, head of Homeland Security, smiled and said the system worked. Shortly thereafter it was revealed the FBI and CIA had known about the terrorist for years, his own father had warned the American Embassy in Nigeria about him, and the man was on an airport watch list, along with 500,000 other names. Despite all this comforting security the man was allowed to board an airplane with a bomb strapped to his crotch. To Janet Napolitano and the Department of Homeland Security, the fact that the bomb fizzled and the plane and all its passengers were not destroyed is proof that the security system worked.

 

 

Our Janet thinks a fizzled bomb

Is triumph for our side

She treats the thing with calm aplomb

Detractors are decried

Five hundred thousand on the list

And not a one is checked

She says so there’s one we have missed

That surely can’t affect

The way we handle terror threats

We do so with dispatch

We always try to hedge our bets

In looking for a match

If she’s the anti-terror czar

Then you would think she would

At least not let them in the car

That much be understood

She thinks that we are all so dumb

To think men mean us harm

And thinks the magic aura from

The O will be the charm

To turn this world to happy days

By making real amends

That steers them from their terror ways

And make them lasting friends

 

 

Predator And Pray

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Complaints are coming in from the field that response times are too slow. A few weeks ago a high level Taliban commander was determined to be in a certain house drinking tea. Special Ops guys and Afghan commandos were ready to go, helicopters revved up, the capture of the Taliban commander a certainty. But the force never left. The American unit commander spent hours on the phone trying to get permission from eleven different officers, some of them not available, some of them not American but Nato. At dawn he shut down the helicopters and told everybody to get some sleep. He never did get permission to capture the Taliban commander, who finished his tea and vanished. Such are the rules of engagement in Afghanistan, where the thought of injuring a civilian while killing the Taliban gives shivers of horror to higher headquarters, who know full well the New York Times would full page front page a picture of an Afghan or Pakistani child injured by the heartless and brutal Americans, notwithstanding the Taliban hide behind little girls. It was thus from the first. We all remember how Mullah Omar raced down the road, escaping, unaware a Predator had him in its sights. But the order to fire was not forthcoming. There were civilian cars on the road, and someone might get hurt.     

 

 

Mullah Omar on the road

To Pak from Kandahar

A Predator with a full load

Caught sight of Omar’s car

Permission asked to fire, then

A longish strangled pause

As conference calls went out to men

To see if there was cause

To worry if collateral

Infliction might occur

And if there might the matter’ll

Be deemed to be no sir

So Mullah Omar got away

Not knowing just how near

He came to death that very day

From that Hellfire spear

And when he heard how he was spared

He closed his eyes and wept

So thankful that the Yankees cared

That civil norms be kept

He wept and bathed and went to bed

Alive and without sin

And thanked his God he wasn’t dead

And knew that he would win

 

 

But Some Are More Equal Than Others

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Are nations and governments corrupt because they are poor, or are they poor because they are corrupt? Why are some nations ruled by law and others by the gun? Why do some people build skyscrapers and others thatch huts? Is there something in the DNA of different people that led them to establish different cultures, different ways of life, different ways of looking at the world? Why is there such a difference between the First world and the Third world? We’re all equal aren’t we? Aren’t we?

 

 

Archaeology, paleontology, each will have his say

But both insist that man came from one place

From Africa to Europe and from there along the way

To Asia and Pacific, filling space

That once was verdant plain or forest, ice or brutal heat

They tracked the game and gathered tree hung fruits

But by and by they found that plants gave more for them to eat

And so they built their huts and put down roots

Now if this story’s true then we are somehow all the same

Though clearly we have taken different paths

For some their lot was poverty with someone else to blame

While others built their temples and their baths

And with the baths came law and with the law came order too

And written constitutions and the like

And with consent of governed came society that’s new

Where wealth and freedom brought the golden spike

That ushered in a continent where free men could breathe free

And build a better world for kith and kin

While elsewhere people lived the life they lived back in BC

Who know not where they are or where they’ve been

Where clans and other big men rule the way the world is run

And all the words and deeds of first world men

Can’t change the fact that law for them is barrel of a gun

And nothing ever changes now or then