Monthly Archives: May 2009

Wir Fahren Gegen Engelland

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When the German battleship Bismarck sailed into the North Atlantic in May 1941, her sailors sang Wir Fahren Gegen Engelland (We Sail Against England). Little did they know it was to be a death cruise for most of them, for the British found the Bismarck and sank her. Are we, the United States, like the Bismarck, sailing on a death cruise? Are the Obama administration’s economic and foreign policies driving us to a watery grave? Are we well on the way to what the radical left so fiercely desires, a toothless, bankrupt and humiliated America?

 

 

Wir fahren gegen Engelland!

The Bismarck’s crew did sing

Wir fahren gegen Everyman!

Obama’s cry doth ring

Everyone except of course

The unions large and small

As well as every other source

The Democrats can call

Their friends and allies who will give

Their votes and labor to

The rest of us will get the shiv

Thrust home by you know who

The North Koreans build their nukes

And threaten one and all

Say CIA and other spooks

We’re heading for a fall

The State Department shakes its head

And issues reprimands

But by and large when all is said

We’re sitting on our hands

Obama now owns all the stock

In Chrysler and GM

His health care plan’s a laughingstock

Except to us and them

We’ll soon be France or Sweden

If Obama has his way

‘Cause there’s no one here impedin’

His fierce drive to make us pay

For all the sins committed

By the US over time

There’s no excuse permitted

We must pay for every crime 

With fahren gegen Engelland

Still ringing in our ears

We watch Obama’s fascist hand

And swallow down our fears

 

 

Doublespeak

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Why do the Obama legions give him a pass when he says things with which they disagree? The answer, I believe, is that they know he is not telling the truth, that he is, to put it kindly, being disingenuous for political reasons. Barack Obama endorsed same sex marriage when he ran for the Illinois Senate, yet when he stated during last year’s presidential campaign that he was opposed to same sex marriage, homosexual activists smiled and gave him a pass. The radical left and the unions, both of whom hate Nafta, winked and nodded when Obama spoke in favor of it. Why are his supporters serene in the face of statements they disagree with? Because they know he doesn’t mean it.   

 

 

I love him so, the young thing thrilled

He’s cool and young and handsome

So what if verity is killed

And truth be held for ransome?

The journalist with glazey stare

Will tell all who will listen

There’s nothing like the brilliant glare

Of halo’s golden glisten

The ardent cling to every word

They gasp at all inflection

And then discuss what they have heard

Without the least reflection

They love him so for what he says

And what he doesn’t say

They love the eyes that truly mes

Merize in every way

And most of all they love to hear

The truth as he has seen it

But through it all one thing is clear

He really doesn’t mean it

 

 

Fly Me To The Moon

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On Wednesday Iran conducted a missile test. The Sejil-2, an Intermediate Range Ballistic Missile with the range to reach Israel, launched successfully and landed in the northern Iranian desert without incident. The thing about the Sejil-2, apart from being the missile Ahmadinejad intends to use to destroy Israel once he has his bomb, is that it is powered by a solid fuel rocket motor that most experts believe came from Pakistan. The great Persian Empire of Ahmadinejad’s dreams is incapable of inventing or building anything on its own, and even rocket motors need to be imported from, of all places, Pakistan. I believe Ahmadinejad is aware of this, and laments the fact that if he is to fly to the moon, it will be as a paying passenger on someone else’s ship.

 

 

Fly me to the moon

Let me play among the stars

All I need’s a rocket ship

To get me up to Mars

If only I could make the things

Right here at home but no

I’ve got to go to Pakistan

That’s where I’ve got to go

A rocket motor’s just beyond

Our skill set now alas

And so our missiles poop along

And just run out of gas

It’s sad to think us Persians can’t

Do things the Pakis can

Of course we also cannot make

A truck or a sedan

And come to think of it we’re not

Too hot at trains and planes

Though pumping oil we’re just as good

As Eskimos and Danes

We threaten people, stamp our feet

Make statements bold and brave

But getting missiles in the air

We can’t our ass to save

Israelis laugh and point and joke

And sometimes even smirk

But they’ll stop laughing if we can

Just get the thing to work

 

 

C’mon, Get Happy!

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Far too many of us are feeling unusually doleful these days, as if the world as we know and knew it is about to go under. The government taking over the auto industry? The President of the United States firing the president of General Motors, a private company? Both those things are the very definition of fascism. The budget deficits and national debt climbing to unsustainable levels? The Chinese warning us not to debase our currency? Both those things are the very definition of economic lunacy. We have much to be doleful about, but keep the faith, the country will still be here in 2010, when the people who don’t think about politics will turn out the guys they see as the authors of all their troubles, and vote in the other guys. That’s the way it works.

 

  

Forget your troubles come on get happy

Chirped a song of the 30s back then

No matter the lyric was sappy

The point was that women and men

Who looked on the dark side of living

With joblessness, hard times and strife

Need someone prepared to be giving

Them reason to treasure their life

So that’s why I write these here verses

To say that the gloom is misplaced

It’s bad but the thing that is worse is

To think it’s the worst thing we’ve faced

We’re not on the brink of disaster

We’re not going over the cliff

If cheerful we’re out of it faster

This bad time will be just a riff

In this opera bouffe we’re all watching

As Obama and crew crash and burn

The voters the drift they are catching

And soon it will be adults turn

There are those who will sob it and bawl it

I ask you, don’t be one of those

‘Cause in truth I don’t know whatcha call it

But it’s mighty darn sure lachrymose

 

 

A Marvelous Opportunity

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The London Times reports that Ludwig Minelli, owner of a Swiss assisted suicide clinic, who describes death as a marvelous opportunity, has been investigated by the authorities regarding irregular financial profiting.

 

 

A marvelous opportunity, sir

He said with a winsome smile

With that I’m sure you will concur

Since we’re here but little while

So why not take the chance to find

Some peace and quiet now

Your troubles we can help unwind

We’ll smooth your troubled brow

This contract tells you what you get

We urge you read each line

For surely you’d not want to fret

That things were not condign

The Power of Attorney sir

A bit of legalese

That I am sure will not deter

Your wish to be at ease

Ah there we are, our task is done

Please lie down on this couch

The needle now, it’s only one

There’s never any ouch

The peace of death be unto you

We know your life’s a wreck

Goodbye dear friend, and toodle-oo

And thank you for the check

 

 

Don’t Call Me, I’ll Call You

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The German magazine Der Spiegel has revealed that the International Tribunal looking into the assassination of Lebanon Prime Minister Rafik Hariri in 2005 has received information from an unnamed source that connects a cell phone used in the assassination to a man named Abd-al-Majid Ghamlush, a member of Hezbollah, and thus to Syria. All cell phones used in the attack were destroyed immediately after the assassination, but Ghamlush made the mistake of calling his girlfriend before destroying his, and he has as a consequence mysteriously disappeared.

 

 

Tribunal International knows

But somehow cannot find

The evidence that daily grows

(Perhaps they do not mind)

That some who live in Syria

With Hezbollahan pals

Did something, (I won’t weary ya

With relevant detals)

That kinda sorta looks a lot

Like murder cruel and foul

But uncrossed t’s and i’s sans dot

Prevent them acting now

But Spiegel now has spilled the beans

On one Majid Ghamlush

Whose cell phone call was just the means

To make him sort of shush

For he has disappeared I fear

From his home town of Rumin

And we shall never ever hear

From him I am assumin’

In Syria they smile and say

We don’t know naught what happen

We weren’t there that awful day

In fact we were home nappin’

Meanwhile the boss Assad sits tight

(He loved Rafik Hariri)

And says these killings are not right

And questions make him weary

 

 

Bill And Hill

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Former President Bill Clinton has just been named Special UN Envoy for Haiti. It seems the Clintons will always be with us. We know Bill’s story, and how he got there, but what of Hillary? First Lady, Senator from New York, Secretary of State, none of which would have happened had she not married Bill. The true story of how Bill and Hillary met has not been told, except to me, by an acquaintance from Arkansas, who knew them back in the sweet used to be.

 

 

Young Hill, fresh out of school of law

While driving south for pleasure

Did chance to be in Arkansas

Which she thought was a treasure

She thought she’d stay a little while

But not for long, no, mercy

The backwoods didn’t suit her style

But better than New Jercy

She thought she better get a job

A good one would be dandy

She asked a guy whose shirt said Bob

Who said see Bill or Randy

You’ll find them in old Frank’s Saloon

Most evenin’s after dinner

You’ll know them, Randy’s a balloon

While Bill’s a little thinner

She wondered what they did for funs

In woods so deep, my gracious

And stuffed a pair of tiny guns

Into her bra capacious

Inside she found a lookin’ guy

A-grinnin’ and a-leerin’

He fixed her with his wand’rin eye

So graciously endearin’

She said hello and might by chance

You’re either Bill or Randy

I’m both he laughed and we can dance

To good old boy Moe Bandy

They spun the floor, her head awhirl

They danced the floor so lightly

She thought I’m just a college girl

He’s holding me too tightly

And what is more he is for sure

So absolutely charming

And though I’m just the girl du jour

This feeling is alarming

She knew she had to pry him free

She’d have to try the pistols

She hated how he hummed off key

She didn’t like the whistles

She pulled her guns, said you’re too much

I like my men more strangerous

He grinned, said ah could tell by touch

Them mammalia was derringerous

You weren’t all that scared, she said

Are guns in bras so normal

And with a grin he shook his head

Said not when goin’ formal

He said a gal he sometimes saw

Who every woman hates

She always carried in her bra

A pair of 38s

They fell in love right then and there

To everyone a mystery

They pledged their lives they each would share

The rest, they say, is history

 

 

Dr. Frankenstein, Meet The UN

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The United Nations is now ruled by the Organization of the Islamic Conference, which passed the Cairo Declaration On Human Rights that stated all human rights and freedoms must be subject to Islamic law, that is, Sharia. The OIC routinely gets UN resolutions passed condemning Israel, the United States, and anyone else they disagree with. The 57 nation Muslim bloc’s most recent attempt to destroy the right of free speech of non-muslims consists of a UN resolution that labels any disagreement with Islam as hate speech. The people who pay the bills for this nonsense, we the American taxpayer, have virtually no say in what the UN does and says. I don’t think that is what was intended.

 

 

Dr Frankenstein did dream

Of monsters to create

And in his eye a simple gleam

That one day he’d be great

In ’45 that dream came true

As nations far and wide

Urged by the old red white and blue

Got on board for the ride

United Nations it was called

Though united it was not

And from the first it truly galled

As crooks and swindlers got

A seat at the big table next

To guys who foot the bill

Who pretty soon were sorely vexed

And wished that they could kill

The monster they had wished to be

A symbol of world peace

But turned into a foaming sea

Of trouble without cease

If Dr Frankenstein were here

He’d sure know what to do

He’d shove a great big sharpened spear

Right up the old kazoo

 

 

Adrift

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The world is changing, and with it the United States. Where once was stability and shared values, there now is bitter divide. Where once was rule of law, there now is judicial fiat. Where once we knew who we were, we now question who we are. Where once we were proud, we now are told we must be ashamed. The world has changed, and so have we. We are no longer who we were. It is an open question as to whether we will ever again be proud and confident. Or is this a passing phase, a moment of inattention, to be remedied by a future generation more sure of themselves and their place in the world.

 

 

Here there be tygers

The olde mappes once said

Then came the British

Who painted them red

All that is gone now

That world is no more

We’ve come to the place

Where there’s no welcome shore

The currents won’t take us

Where we want to go

The winds that once shapened

The world that we know

No longer blow fairly

But fitful and wild

We recognize barely

The world that we’ve styled

Can we recapture

That time and that way

I guess that’s the question

Before us today

 

 

Heroes

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We live in a political world, one most of us don’t like when looking at what the country will become if the radical left succeeds in imposing its agenda. The current Administration is determined to reward those who put it in power, and punish those with whom they disagree. Already we see the country changing. The Federal Government is taking over General Motors in order to protect the UAW, people who pay their credit card bills or mortgages on time are being forced to subsidize those who don’t, and I have no doubt the Administration will rescue the NY Times and other papers from bankruptcy with taxpayers’ money, rewarding the President’s admiring legions of hero worshipping journalists. But we have our own heroes. We are not alone. We can stop this headlong rush to this government run and government owned left wing utopian paradise. We can stop it because our heroes are with us.

 

 

Boys have heroes, we all did

Cowboys, pirates, Captain Kidd

Heroes teach you to be strong

Don’t sell short, always go long

Don’t see clouds, see sunny days

Just think of all the many ways

Our childhood prepped us to be tasked

For things we answer to when asked

I know there’s times we all despair

When we all think, does no one care?

But someone does, that someone’s you

You care because your heroes true

Are with you now, and always will

Be with you till your breath is still

Be not afraid, they smile and say

Be Captain Midnight for a day

So what if you can’t save the world

Or charge the foe with flags unfurled

If we but look we’ll reckon us

A force when heroes beckon us

To save our country from the left

Who plan to leave our kids bereft

Of everything that we hold dear

Instill in them the things we fear

Captain Marvel we don’t need

Or e’en the Flash with all his speed

We’ll do this job because we can

United we ARE Superman